Where has the time gone???
Yes, we are alive and well....but still operating without my computer;-(. We haven't been able to bring ourselves to spend the money on a new one. John found a hard drive on ebay that he is hoping will fix our existing computer. $20.00 compared to a few hundred seems much easier to swallow right about now. We're waiting for it to arrive...keeping fingers crossed that it does the trick!! Anyhow, this marathon post has been in the making for quite a few days now...saving every few seconds, and having the computer black out on me mid sentence!!
On to more important things.....Miss Sophie. Where. to. start?? I feel so behind in updating everyone.....I still have posts I want to do from our trip to China, but I just don't seem to have the time....or energy....and obviously, the computer issue doesn't help matters. But honestly, when you look at what's really important to spend time on right now, not being sucked into the computer as I walk by the desk has actually been a blessing during this initial bonding time, though I've missed keeping closer tabs on all of you! It is one less distraction, and a big one at that, at least for me.
Sophie has been home for a little over a month, and has she come a long way, baby!! A day doesn't go by that I'm not totally amazed by her, how far she has come, and so taken back by the blessing we have been given. Glory be to God indeed!! It was a rough road in China, but I have to say, things have moved much smoother and faster than I ever expected since being home.
Here it goes...in random order...comparing one month ago to now....
Seeing this look the day after gotcha day.....
And now seeing this....
And this...
Though Sophie's understanding of English was definitely advanced when we got her, and she was able to say a few phrases in English like 'I have to go potty' ..Now, Sophie's vocabulary is literally exploding. She and I carry on quite the conversations during the day which include 8-10 word sentences! She is extemely smart and I know will master the English language in record time. On the funny side....she tends to put an 'a' on the ends of words right now. To listen to her, you'd think she was from Italy!!! For example...Sophie says something like this...."I'ma gonna goa to school? Are you-a gonna goa too?"
Some funny Sophie phrases....
"Whose-i-tha?" Said as one continuous word, which for the longest time I thought she was asking something in Chinese..LOL. I finally figured out she is saying "what is that?"
Humpty Dumpty is 'Humpy Dumpy sat ona wall'
She likes to chew on ice so when she says..."Can I please hava some ice"....it actually sounds like..."Can I please hava some as*?" We're working on this one and trying not to laugh, but the boys hear it EVERY TIME!!
Sophie is teaching us Chinese as well. The boys are picking up and remembering words quite quickly. John and I on the other hand...are a bit slower. I'm keeping a list of words spelled phonetically and their meanings. I do see that she is loosing some of her Chinese, which I feel sad about.
One month ago Sophie had never seen the ocean...and now Sophie is as much in love with the sea as we are. It's quite ironic given she's originally from Urumqi, the city that is known as geographically being the farthest in the world from the ocean. I've thoroughly enjoyed holding her hands as she jumps with pure joy over the waves. She loves sitting in the ocean as the bubbles from the broken waves wash over her, and she's even brave enough to have me hold her out farther and let the waves break over us. Our time at the ocean has been so special, and has given us some really special bonding time. Oh..I have to add...Sophie is a pro at spotting sea glass!!!!! We've enjoyed searching our favorite spots with Sophie now adding precious finds to our collection.
One month ago she was terrified of our two Labs, and now Sawyer and Finn have become two of her favorite playmates and favorite pillows!!
One month ago we had to work for a smile....now her contagious belly laugh and bright smile light up our house every day.
One month ago when Sophie made a mistake or didn't do something quite right she would look at us in a tentative nature..wondering how we would react. We would reply with a melodic 'uh-oh' or playful 'Silly Sophie", and now when something happens she easily laughs at herself and says, 'Oh, silly Sophie:-)'.
One month ago, When John went back to work and the boys went to school, Sophie had to be in the room I was in. Even if I said to her..."Mommy is just going to the kitchen for X, I'll be right back"....she would want to come with me. When I had to go to the bathroom...she would come with me and wait right outside the door. (This all is TOTALLY understandable and so welcomed given what she has gone through) but now it's nice to see her comfort level has obviously increased, as she will go into other rooms to play for short periods, and is starting to trust that if I say "I'm just going downstairs to put wash into the dryer...I'll be right back up"...she continues to play, and trusts I will return. Icing on the cake...when I do return, I am greeted with a huge smile.
Can't think of a then and now for this....only that I have to say Nathan and Owen have been fantastic! They love Sophie like she has always been their sister. Sophie is pretty fond of them as well;-).
Keeping it real...One month ago while in China and during the first part of being home we were dealing with some MAJOR tantrums. These were like nothing I've ever experienced as far as the intensity and duration. I'll tell you....the tears that come out of this child's eyes could easily fill a glass!! Now, thankfully the tantrums have diminished greatly and what initially seemed like a daily occurrence has me pondering right now when she actually had her last one?? Now when Sophie doesn't get her way, or can't have something she may want she is much more willing to listen and is more accepting of our answer. If crying does occur, it's in the what I at least consider 'normal' for a child her age...although I've heard girls are MUCH more dramatic in general...so it may have just been my inexperience with the XX tantrum style;-).
Oh, I have to add...NO ONE...I mean NO ONE can pout like this girl. See below..
She deserves an A++ for technique....I have never seen a child able to protrude her bottom lip as far as Sophie can. Add large crocodile tears flowing down those beautiful brown eyes and OH MY!!! One time she was pouting about something, and was on the verge of crying when I broke out the cherrios and bet her she couldn't balance and stack cherrios on her lip. She quickly accepted my challenge (pout and tantrum avoided!!!) and I think we made it to 4!! Now, when she starts to pout all I have to do is mention cherrios and she just starts to giggle:-)......
One month ago, she absolutely loved being read to....as long as it was Baba doing it. Now, Sophie and I spend time everyday cuddled reading together. She absolutely loves our town library and all the books she can borrow!! She's like a kid in a candy shop! At night, I have become 'the chosen one...ah hemm' to read to her before Miss Sophie retires.
A little over one month ago, Sophie slept in a crib with two other children in the room.....now Sophie continues to enjoy her big girl bed (she actually insisted I take the guard rails off the other day...which I did...she's doing great) and is still very comfortable sleeping in her own room, alone, through the night, and waking with a huge smile.
One month ago, Sophie was wary and very quiet around new adults. Now....not much change. I guess this is a good thing as indiscriminately feeling as comfortable with strangers as family may be a warning sign. The positive...she definitely warms up after seeing someone a few times, and the vibrant Sophie shines through.
Just one month ago her language was Chinese (well, of course it was!!) We went to our friend's house for a special dinner last Friday night. Brenda is originally from Hong Kong and we were treated to some delicious homemade Chinese cooking. I thought having someone that spoke Chinese would be exciting for Sophie. Turned out....not so much. It was their first time meeting Sophie and we were all very surprised Sophie did not respond to her when she spoke to her in mandarin. Not once....wouldn't even break a smile until it was time to go as she waved and said an enthusiastic...'bye-bye'. I'm sure there must have been some worry going on in her head....the last time we were with someone Chinese, she had to go through some major trauma. Despite our reassurance....she chose to remain silent, but had a great time being the only girl in a group of 5 boys that evening. Man, can she hold her own!!
Again, keeping it real....One month ago in China...I faced total rejection from the daughter I had longed for for so long, dealing with major jet lag, and missing my boys terribly...doubt crept into my mind. I was wondering and sobbing to John late at night while Sophie slept that I may have made the biggest mistake....maybe this wasn't His plan after all. I didn't know if I could handle all this, and I felt like all this turmoil would be forever. I remember profusely apologizing to John that I had totally screwed up our content, happy lives by going down this road. John, bless his heart, met me where I was and gently reminded me all that He had shown us leading up to this....it WAS His plan...we needed to trust. John reminded me, although I was the impetus behind this adoption...we walked down this road together. John reminded me that it all made perfect sense to him, and I had to do my best to not take the rejection personally...to Sophie a Baba was simply new and additive. She didn't have to give up something, or trust only once again, in order to let him in. When you look at it, especially at this young age a mother is so important, but for Sophie, mamas haven't served her very well. Why would she quickly trust her heart to another. On top of everything.....I was the one that took her from her mama. It all made sense logically, but one month ago my heart was simply broken.
Now, I SEE and am AMAZED at how far Sophie has come. When I think of all she has been through, I can only attribute it to the grace of God. Oh yes, What a difference a month home can make!!
NOW....Sophie genuinely smiles at me and I can see love in her eyes.
Now she runs up to me and says...'holda me' with her arms outstretched and wraps them tightly around me when I pick her up. I can literally feel her joy.
One month ago, Sophie tolerated me at best....now we genuinely enjoy being together.
One month ago, Sophie wanted to do everything herself. She didn't want me to dress her, bathe her, even do her hair. Now I find she waits for me to dress and picks out colors similar to mine...although pink (her favorite color now) tends to occur at least somewhere:-). When I ask how she wants her hair, she excitedly says..."one (ponytail) because that's how YOU wear your hair."
One month ago, my repeated attempts at any form of affection was rebuked. Now I can see Sophie craves my love and affection.
One month ago, my statement of 'I love you' was ignored. Now, my I love yous are genuinely returned with hers.
Upon returning home a little over one month ago, I felt like I was watching someone else's child. Now I spend my day with my vibrant, beautiful DAUGHTER. My breath is taken away in moments as she smiles, laughs, pouts, as I watch her play, listen to her sing, or gaze at her as she peacefully sleeps.....all while thanking God above, over and over, for His immeasurable blessing.
He has given me so much more than I could have ever imagined....
Yes, my cup runs over...
He splashed orange in the sunrise
and cast the sky in blue
And if you love to see geese as they gather,
chances are you'll see that too.
Did He have to make the squirrel's tail furry?
Was he obliged to make the birds sing?
And the funny way that chickens scurry
or the majesty of thunder when it rings?
Why give a flower a fragrance?
Why give food its taste?
Could it be
He loves to see
That look upon your face?
Max`Lucado
As always, God is good!
