First, I thought you would all like to know we spoke with Sophie again last night!! She is THE sweetest thing. We were greeted with an enthusiastic "Ma-MA, and Da-DE" again and she entertained us with the famous I love you song. Then, in my best singing voice I sang to her, which she really seemed to enjoy, despite me probably being way off key;-). Later in the conversation John, Sophie and I all sang together in perfect harmony...Ha! Sophie seemed very happy on the phone, and was definitely more talkative this time. She spoke to us in Chinese, and although I could only understand the injected 'mama', she seems to have a very clear, articulate voice. I can't wait to meet her in person!
Changing topics...My question is about travel to China. John and I have been wrestling with making this decision...Should John and I just go to China as a couple, or should we bring the boys? Obviously, there are pros and cons to both, and the decision might be made for us from a financial standpoint, but I was curious as to what you guys thought, especially those who have made the trip and know what the two weeks are all about. I'd love to hear from anyone who would like to chime in with their thoughts. Thanks!
And what I'm sure you've all been checking in to see....
18 comments:
Tami,
Still no word here on my end, but I am hoping and praying we hear something soon.
As for taking the boys to China, I went last May and unfortunately, Matt was unable to go. However, I so regret taking my 12 year old son. China is an amazing country and I think it would be a great experience to your boys.
I would love to take Blake the next time, but it is all going to come down to $$.
You must also know that your time there is also going to be one of stress (not much) and emotions. Sophie seems to be pretty well adjusted already, so she will probably adjust well to being around the boys. This is one of those things that if you don't take them you are probably going to wish you had.
Mandi
obviously i have no experiential advice but think that if you can afford it, take them! i've seen so many blogs where having the older kids travel was a huge blessing and comfort for the adopted child. and your boys are old enough that tehy would be a big help!
oh how i love that face! she is gonna shake up your household!!!
Tami,
We are planning on taking our boys
( whenever that will be). O f course, we are like you and know that financially it may not be a possibility at the time. However, we think that it would be better to have them experience China and meeting their sister than being at home...we think. Can't wait to see what you all do. I am following along and will be learning a lot.
Tami,
I agree with the others in saying "take them if you can"! Obviously, I am not speaking from experience YET either...but we hope to bring our 2 kids with when we travel, too. I think it is something that usually only happens once in a lifetime, so what a gift for all of you to meet Sophie together. I think it will also help her transition at home, as she will already identify herself with her brothers around and they'll be a little more used to eachother already. From what I've seen on other blogs, it has only been a positive experience to bring them along! Hope it all works out.
Love this photo of Miss Sophie, btw...she's such a doll!! :) You are so blessed to have already spoken to her and begin that relationship before seeing her in person...how VERY special for all of you!
Blessings! <><
~Tanya
We traveled without our children because it was during the middle of semester finals. It would of been nice to have them experience this once in a life time trip. However, it was also a very stressful and emotional time where we were happy to have the time to simply focus in on Hannah and her needs without feeling pulled between the boys.
I sent out your quilt square today so hopefully you'll receive it soon!
Good luck in your decision. God will give you the answer you need.
Tami,
We took Hannah with us to China the first time, she was 10 and really enjoyed and got a lot out of it. It also helped with the transition a little. However I don't think I would take a child younger than 10, you will need to focus on Sophie. That being said it really is an individual decision and depends on yor kids and how well they travel....
Love the new pictures of Sophie. I also have yet to mail your package out...I have two kids home with strep :-(
I'm just hopping over to your blog from the Mamarazzi blog and I wanted to give you my opinion. We traveled to Ukraine in 2004 for our son, without our 2 older children (then 8 &6) and were totally stressed every day thinking about them. Last year we traveled with our 3 children (then 11,9 &5) and my mother. It was a fabulous trip! If you could convince another family member to come along I think it would be really great. Either way I think taking your children is the opportunity of a lifetime and we felt it was more than worth every penny we spent. Good luck on your decision!
We do not take our children on our adoption trips.
Stacy and I believe that our new child deserves as much un-interrupted bonding time as we can possibly give them. You can't do that being Mama to everyone and making sure that they do not "DRINK the water".Plain & Simple.
but hey....that's just us.;)
xoxo,
A
I went solo, so I can't really offer a BTDT opinion for traveling with kids, but I do have a few thoughts. We wanted to take our boys, originally, but that all went out the window. In hindsight, I'm not sure we could have truly afforded it. Our motivation was more out of the fact that we really didn't have anyone we felt comfortable leaving them with for 2 weeks.
It is definately a once in a lifetime opportunity, but then again, adopting a sister from China is life changing for them with or without the trip. I think a lot of it has to do with the personality of your boys. The schedule can be very tiring, at times. If they're pretty easy going, they should do fine, if they have any tendancy to be whiners...
It seemed that those of us who travelled less, had fewer health (digestive) issues. I went to Beijing for 2 days, and Lily was in Guangdong, so I spent nearly all my time in Guangzhou. Isn't Sophie in Beijing? I'm assuming that would mean you would settle in there for most of your time, then a few days through Guangzhou on the way home. This is advantageous, as those of us who didn't travel to another province had no health issues, and several of those who went Beijing, province, Guangzhou, arrived in Guangzhou ill.
Not sure if this is very helpful... just a few thoughts.
Just chiming in to say I'm so happy you guys have the opportunity to talk with Sophie each week! I would say go with your gut (while respecting your wallet) in your decision to bring the boys or not! I'm going to attempt a square for Sophie's quilt . . . I'm going to have to let go of my perfectionism here, (because that's not what it's about) and because I can't imagine it could be as beautiful as the one you posted :)
I can't wait to see her with your family. I think she will fit in so beautifully!!
I'm glad we didn't take any of our kiddos with us to China - it gave us time just with Nina, and everything was so new for us too.
Now *if* we went again, I'd consider taking the older ones. At one point, we will all go to China, but I'd rather that not be an adoption trip, as that in itself is pretty demanding.
I think you know your boys the best, and know if they could stand the jetlag, travel, strange smells, strange food, and NOT be center of attention.
For us, with Nina anyway, it was also out of the question as we traveled during the most expensive travel season.
You'll know! You may just want to get some passports if there is remote possibility they'll go with you!
Love, BArb
She is beautiful! Whatever decision you make, it will work. Each family is unique.
God Bless,
Cindy (Brett's Mom)
That is so sweet that you get to talk and sing with Sophie on the phone. Love it!
Tami,
I am so excited that you got to hear Sophie's voice again! How precious!
I have not yet traveled, so I can't add my 2 cents to that, other than that we do NOT plan to take our kids to Ethiopia. Then again, they are 4 and 2. Whatever you choose to do, it'll be perfect!
Rachel
I'm trying to comment again......
To bring the boys to China or not is a hard decision I think. We really want to take our kids to China with us, but for us, I find it extremely stressful to be gone that far from my kids for that long. I almost needed anti-anxiety medication to get through the last two days of Hawaii last summer. BUT, my kids are younger. IF my kids were older, then maybe I'd feel differently? But, then again, if they were an age when they could experience their sister's home country then again, I might be more inclined to do it.
Scot is adament about taking the kids. He feels it is very much a family thing we're doing. If we had another biological child, we would involve our kids 150%, so he feels we should do the same for this. I see his point, but just don't know. I honestly see it both ways.
If we did bring the kids, we would absolutely not take them without another family member along to help with them. My parents have graciously offered to pay their way should we decide to take the kids, but I'm not sure I want to be traveling China with a throng of people, you know?
It's a tough one. But, really pray and listen.....make sure you do whatever you truly feel God is telling you to do. He sees the whole picture from beginning to end, and He alone knows what is truly best. I think the answer is different for every family!
Oh, WOW! It worked! :)
Tami,
We did not take our sons. Leaving them was so hard. We traveled with people who brought their kids and it looked very stressful & emotional. .I kept saying to myself, I am so glad we didn't bring the kids! lol! We did not bring them because of the $$, because they are picky eaters and because of the fact they'd be bored out of their mind...
Now, that being said, I think I would take them if we return. (when we return?) LOL!
There were several meeting & appointments to go to that would have been awful to take them to - which we would be nice for grandma or auntie to stay at the hotel with them. Now, for our travel group, we had some teenagers that would babysit - so maybe it depends on if you know your travel group in advance?
Some other meetings/appointments can be done with one parent. That's nice.
It really depends on how easily entertained your children are (there is NO good tv in the hotels!) I"d pack a football/basketball, whatever they play, seriously. The electronic devices get old fast & they need the fresh air!!
If we return again, the boys will be older & may be able to be left alone in the hotel room for some appointments? 12??? Probably old enough. We;d have a cell phone and in Henan the office we went to was right across the street. Of course, it would be ideal to bring along a friend or auntie to help.
Confused?
Welcome to my world!!
XOXO,
Sara
Congratulations on your sweet little Sophie! That is one of my favorite names and we too named our daughter Sophie. We are going back to China soon as well and have gone back and forth many times over on whether or not to take our Sophie. She will be about 3 1/2 when we would travel but we too want to give our new daughter all of the attention she needs. It's such a hard decision because I never want to leave my girl but if our new daughter is anything like Sophie was in China then she really will need our undivided attention. I wish you the best on your decision as I continue to try to make mine! :)
I love New Day and am so happy for your family!
:) Melanie
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