Sea Glass & Jade

Some long overdue Sophie-ness

2011-08-31T10:09:00.000-04:00

Yes I know, it's been AGES since I've posted, but now that the kids are back in school and I have some free time again, I just HAD to post some pics, and (hold onto your seats;-) even a video from Sophie's birthday party we had for her last weekend.

Can you believe Sophie has been home with us for 2 years now??!! After a summer filled with all-star baseball we decided Sophie deserved a very special birthday spent with girlfriends, and a day that was all about her:-). We had a balloon artist in attendance to help celebrate, and he did not disappoint. There were smiles all around as he made special request creations for all the kids.

We captured the finale on video...a special balloon birthday cake Sophie helped the artist make. She had to hold the balloons and not let them touch (she took her job very seriously;-) and she wasn't supposed to peak as he combined the balloons....take a look...

Some still photos of our beautiful birthday girl....

And while I'm at it....here are some shots of the kids getting ready to start a new year of school. Nathan is in 7th grade this year, Owen in 4th, and Sophie is a proud first grader...

No dressing up for the boys (pickin' my battles), just new sneaks for Nate, and a new t-shirt for Mr O, but of course, my Miss Sophie was more than happy to go shopping for a new dress!

And another year begins....time goes so quick!!

God is good!

Sophie...Ring Christmas Bells

2010-12-19T11:15:00.002-05:00

Sophie did great in her first violin performance today at church....

Just wanted to share the special moment and spread some Christmas cheer!

God is good!

It's Here!!!

2010-11-19T21:31:00.003-05:00

Yes, Sophie's new prosthesis is here!!! A little later than expected, but then again, good things are worth the wait!! Sophie absolutely loves the fabric she chose and it fits really well. Brock, you're a master at your craft! This one is definitely NOT falling off;-) and Shriners, what can we say....you're a Godsend to SO MANY children and families!!!!

So, without further ado....drum roll please....

Carnival Bl00m it is!!

It was a close vote between *Bloom and *Norway, with *Norway winning by a few votes in the poll. My favorite was *Norway, but my girl had her heart set on the flowers, especially the orange one;-) and I have to say, I think it SO looks like Sophie:-).

Thanks to everyone for playing along!

As always, God is good!!!!!

Cute as a Bunny

2010-11-02T13:44:00.004-04:00

One of the photo's that just grabbed my heart while Sophie was at New Day...

And she's as cute as ever now....

To share one of my favorite Sophie-isms....

When asked, "Sophie, how did you get so darn cute"

Sophie replies, "God just made me that way;-)"

He did indeed! Inside and out!

God is good!

Too Good Not to Share...

2010-10-29T08:52:00.004-04:00

If you're waiting on Him for something in your life...maybe understanding, discernment of His will, an answer to prayer...as most of us usually are....and you're not a follower of Ohilda's blog...you'll probably want to check it out;-).

She just posted a beautiful poem, titled 'WAIT' you'll want to read.

Grab the tissues.

God is good.

The Final Three..with update

2010-10-25T18:41:00.007-04:00

We did received the fabric in time, whew... and our visit to Shriners went really well. Sophie's new prosthesis fits her like a glove and I was amazed to see how well she walked. She said it felt comfortable. Though she's been doing great with her old one, she walks even BETTER with this one. God is so good....Shriners, and her prosthetist Brock.. is amazing! They'll be adjusting for height...she grew again;-), ordering her a new outer foot cover, laminate the fabric on, and mail us the finished product ASAP. She should be getting her special package in a little over a week.

There's still time to vote on the fabric you think Miss Sophie chose if you haven't on my sidebar....

Can't wait to show you her new leg and hopefully even video of her walking.....no, probably RUNNING knowing Sophie;-).

Fabric, fabric and MORE fabric......I'm even dreaming about fabrics!

SO MANY beautiful ones to chose from....

Honestly, I'm 'fabric-ed' out:-).

A big thank you to everyone who suggested a favorite designer and/or fabric site....they were very helpful!

Well, Sophie has made her decision. Please pray the material arrives here before we leave on Thursday. She chose it by narrowing it down from what must have been a million;-) down to three, and then became very decisive. Since her first leg had a pink, lighter background she wanted to go with something darker, and my girl sure likes color, so here we go.....

Carnival Bloom by Michael Miller

Birds of Norway by Michael Miller

Black Sprays by Kaffe Fassett

For fun, if you'd like to try and guess which material Sophie chose, I put up a poll on my side bar.

I'll unveil the final product once it's completed.

As always...God is good.

Look at her now....

2010-10-15T20:46:00.004-04:00

Thought I'd share some footage of Sophie playing soccer.

Ummm....She's the one in the pink pants;-)).

Can you believe she just had surgery in March!? You'd never know she was wearing a prosthesis, would ya?

I tell Sophie she has THE BEST shin guard EVER on her right leg, though she insists on wearing a guard over her prosthesis, of course;-). Too cute!

OT...Sophie's getting a NEW prosthesis at the end of the month! Her leg is now pretty much totally healed and the swelling is all gone. Her current prosthesis is getting a bit big....she has to wear two prosthetic socks to keep it from falling off. I can't wait to see her run in her new one! Anyways...we're fabric shopping for a new look!! If any of you fabric connoisseurs have any links/suggestions ...we'd love to take a look.

God is good!

Prosthetic Humor

2010-09-21T15:46:00.004-04:00

I thought to myself the other day of how funny some things that we say in our house would actually sound to someone who was unaware of the fact that Sophie wears a prosthesis and was just 'listening in'.

Could you imagine being outside our door and hear...

"Sophie, the school bus is going to be here soon....get that leg on, and get your backpack so you don't miss the bus!"

or maybe hearing...

"Sophie, I need you to stop leaving your leg laying around where people can trip over it."

This one always cracks me up...

Sophie yells from the other room..."Mom, I can't find my leg." I say (to quote one of her favorite 'Froggy' books)..."Sophie, it's where ever you left it."

Just the other day we were at the park and Sophie loves to be pushed on the swing. Now that the weather is cooler, she is wearing long pants and you would never know she's wearing a prosthesis. As she's swinging higher and higher, I say to her, "Sophie, let me know if your leg feels like it's going to go flying off so I can stop you....we wouldn't want it to hit another kid." I quickly found all the other moms within earshot just staring at me with a confused, somewhat concerned look. I guess I COULD have explained, but heck, I just chose to smile:-))).

We were in the checkout line at the store, and Sophie likes to sit in the front seat of the cart from time to time. We were in the checkout line and I was in the front of the cart unloading items. Next thing I know, I hear a loud thud. Sophie turns around and says loudly, "uh oh, mom...I just lost my leg!" (A large part of me thinks she did this just for the shock factor because she had quite a smile on her face when she said it;-))). I looked up and wished I could have taken a picture of the peoples faces behind us in line....priceless!

I LOVE the fact that Sophie is having fun with her leg....and we can all laugh about things now....

Sophie got a huge kick out of doing this....

I affectionately call it...'Which way do I go?'

And I walked into the room last night to find this...honestly, it's not staged...Finn's leg was actually in the prosthesis, which totally cracked me up.

Hope these made YOU smile today!

As always...God is good!

Kindergarten...Here comes Sophie!

2010-09-16T23:18:00.002-04:00

The kiddos are pretty much into the school routine, and mom is too....I think. The summer 'fog' has slowly lifted and I find myself returning to the computer;-). I have some catching up to do....that's for sure!

Back to the school theme...All three like their teachers, and that is a definite good start to a new school year.

Sophie was so excited about starting K-garten, and especially about riding the big yellow school bus. In total Sophie style....she hasn't skipped a beat.

She LOVES it..the bus and school!!

(Side note: The pictures were taken on day 3 for Nathan and Owen, so needless to say, they were not dressed up by any means..lol!)

We have half day K-garten here, and although I think Sophie would be totally fine going full day, it's nice to have the time for just the two of us before the boys get home.

I have to say, I was a bit worried about how the kids would respond to Sophie and her leg, but so far there have been no issues. Kids in general are very accepting, and Sophie seems to be making friends easily. Before school started, Sophie and I 'roll played' what to say if someone in school asks about her leg. My goal was to have her comfortable enough to handle the question from kids herself. The most frequent question we seem to get is .... 'what happened to your leg?' After a bit of practice, Sophie now smiles and confidently says 'my leg was just made a bit different and this prosthesis (yes, she says that word as articulate as EVER) that I wear helps me walk', and sometimes she even adds...'and run and jump like you;-)'. That's it....it's over, and they move on.

After talking with the school and Sophie's teachers (who have been so positive about everything!), I gave them a wonderful book that I would highly recommend for any family that has a young child with a limb difference: "Im@gine...Am@zing Me" by Libbi Chilia. Sophie and I must have gone through the book a hundred times, and Sophie was excited her teacher read the book to her class on the first day of school. I guess it was a big hit....the kids were all over it....literally amazed seeing what kids with limb differences can do. Two other GREAT children's books regarding physical differences are 'Oliver*s High Five' and 'The Little Fr0g'

A big mama *sigh*.

Well, after a summer filled with baseball,(still haven't posted the pictures on that...I'm so bad;-(... the boys are 'off' until basketball starts. It's Sophie's turn now.....the Fall is all about her...she starts soccer this Saturday and she had her first violin lesson this past Wednesday!

God is good!

Sophie and the Sea...take 2!

2010-07-28T12:16:00.005-04:00

I wanted to share some photos of our time at the beach this year. It's hard to believe Sophie will be home a YEAR next month!!! Wow! I remember how I couldn't wait to take Sophie to the beach once we returned home from China, and remember her first time there like it was just yesterday. Sophie liked the beach and water then, but NOW, oh boy....she LOVES it. This girl is a fish!!! Quite ironic, since she came from the city (Urumqi) that is known in the Guinness Book of World Records as the most inland city farthest from the sea in the world (nearest major body of water is 2,250 km away). Sophie has even learned to swim in our pool without a floatation device in record time. I know I keep saying this, but she truly is amazing. This year at the beach, Nathan is trying his legs at surfing a bit, and Owen when not boogie boarding, seems happiest building elaborate moats and castles in the sand.

We have been quite busy this summer.....in some ways, a bit too busy for my liking, but we have been having tons of fun:-)! Our activities have included LOTS of baseball since Nathan made the post season all star team (photos to come), but we've also spent time taking day trips, enjoying the pool, beach, wiffleball in the backyard, cookouts with friends and all the typical things that fill your time over summer.

Sophie's leg is almost totally healed where her partial foot was removed, and she is moving so well. She is regaining her leg strength and honestly, more days than not, I actually forget she is wearing a prosthesis. It has become so much a part of her...and she LOVES it. That little piece of doubt I had been carrying around, wondering if doing the surgery now was the right thing, is now totally gone. Sophie still misses her foot at times, but SHE even says she can move so much easier now. *SIGH*. Sophie plans on playing soccer in the fall, and following in her brother's footsteps, can't wait for T-ball to start next spring.

Well....off to the pool again:-).....Hope you all are having a fantastic summer!

As always, God is good!!!

To not keep you wondering...

2010-05-20T20:54:00.006-04:00

There were many good guesses to my Wordless Wednesday post below, but none hit the mark. Soooooo to not keep you wondering any further, I've posted a few more revealing photos below....

Hmmmm....???

If you still haven't guessed...I'll uncover a bit more...

A retro vase maybe????? Oh, What could it be?????

TA-DA!!!!!

OF COURSE!!!! It's Sophie's new prosthesis!!!!!! She got it today!

Woo Hoo!! Can you tell I'm just a tad excited;-)??!!

Isn't it beautiful???!!!! I think it just screams Sophie:-).

I'm sure some of you may be a bit surprised as to it's appearance?

'Where's the skin' you may be asking?

Well, Sophie had a choice....make it look as close as possible to a natural leg, (exoskeleton) or personalize it with some laminated fabric and let the 'hardware' show around the ankle(endoskeleton).

What can I say....my girl likes to have fun, and I think Sophie has definitely found her style, AND her stride!!

After MANY hours of looking for the perfect fabric, Sophie fell in love with the final selection after seeing it laminated on a leg. On top of being able to add some color and have some fun in it's design...I was given some welcomed 'BTDT, you may want to consider, words of wisdom' from a fellow adoptive mom of a beautiful child with a limb difference......

'Many times when kids have an exoskeleton (looks like a leg) they actually get more/longer stares, as folks are trying to figure out ‘just what isn’t quite right’ about the leg. When you have endoskeleton it is obvious it's not a real leg, so folks get over it quicker, if you know what I mean???'....Thanks Kelley!

Here are some photos of Sophie wearing the finished product.....

The plan is now for Sophie to just be a kid and use her new prosthesis;-). We'll see Brock in about 2 weeks for a check up/tune up....when he'll make any necessary adjustments.

SO friends....she's OFF!!!! PTL!!!

*SIGH*

It's SO, SO wonderful to see Sophie walking again!!!! Every step she takes is such a blessing.

Thank you ALL for walking beside us through this.

As always, God is good!!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-05-19T10:30:00.003-04:00

Hmmmmmmm....any guesses on what this could be for?

God is good!

Sophie's First Steps

2010-05-12T10:45:00.002-04:00

No words....

Just wanted to share the joy of Sophie's first steps...

We go back to Shriners next week to bring home the finished product.

Needless to say, Sophie CAN'T WAIT...we're counting the sleeps;-).

God is good!!

'Wicked' Good!

2010-05-02T08:38:00.004-04:00

Well, I guess it's official......Sophie is a 'New Englandah'!

Yesterday, she came to me and said, "mom, can you clip this fingernail...it's getting wicked long.

Saturday was the first day in quite a while we didn't have a sport event to work around, and it was a glorious day weather wise. We decided to spend the afternoon at our favorite park overlooking the ocean. While swinging at the playground, and sporting one of her MANY pairs of sunglasses, Sophie commented on how wicked sunny it was:-).

For supper, we ventured to a wonderful burger place.... which is fondly known as being the 'home of the wicked good burg*er' , and sure enough, while she was eating she let out a "yummmm, this hamburger is wicked good!"

Too funny!

As always, God is wicked good!!!!!

Ahhhh...Bubbles!

2010-04-27T07:33:00.005-04:00

Yes, Sophie is without a cast, PTL....and she enjoyed her first bath in two months last night!!

After Sophie's cast was removed, and her leg was examined we moved on to having her prosthesis molding. We met her Prosthetist, Brock, for the first time, and he allowed Sophie to 'help' with the molding process, something that was right up her alley!

We need to return next Monday for a socket fitting, and if everything continues to heal well with her leg (she's sporting the biggest scab I have ever seen;-)! She could have her prosthesis sometime the following week...YEAH!!!!! Brock also mentioned that since we frequent the beach often during the summer, he would make Sophie a special prosthesis to be used at the beach, so we don't have to worry about the salt damage that can occur with frequent exposure.

We are truly blessed and it feels so wonderful to be 'moving' again.

On a side note, Brock has been to China numerous times with an organization called Handreach under their Children's Healing Initiative project. This initiative provides children in orphanages with prosthetic devices, and other much needed services and treatments. As you can imagine, Brock and I had quite the conversation, and I put a little bug in his ear about a certain little boy in a certain foster home that is near and dear to my heart;-). For their next trip, it just so happens that CHI will be operating from the air force base in Beijing:-).

Here's some photos from Sophie's molding...

As always, God is good!

Cast Removal...Take 2

2010-04-25T19:46:00.002-04:00

Just a quick post to let everyone know we are heading to Shriners again tomorrow for Sophie's second cast to be removed.

Woo Hoo!!!!!

Let's hope and pray she WON'T be picking out another color, if you know what I mean;-)?!

This girl is dreamin' about a REAL bath, with LOTS and LOTS of bubbles....

Thinking positively, if all goes well, we should be visiting the Prosthetics Department for her prosthesis to be molded tomorrow as well.

Sophie has been such a trooper through all this, with minimal complaining...I mean REALLY minimal.

I trust however things work out, it WILL be for the best.

In Sophie style, she said to me, "Mom, I hope I don't need another cast, but if I do...that will be OK....I'm kind of getting used to it now"

Any prayers would surely be appreciated.

As always, God is good!

Be a part of something WONDERFUL...

2010-04-22T08:06:00.010-04:00

If you haven't had the pleasure of stopping by my dear friend Tanya's blog....PLEASE do!! This family is so very special, and they are in the final 'exciting, nerve-racking, bank account dwindling' stages of preparation to bring their precious daughter Khloe home.

Khloe has lived at New Day Foster Home where Sophie is from, and I was so very blessed to be able to meet Miss Khloe when we visited New Day last August.

I remember when I was holding Khloe in this picture, I said a prayer that God would speed her family to her, and bestow an understanding on her heart that let her 'know' she had a family of her very own loving her from afar. I have to say, as this child crawled up into my lap, on a day that was filled with so much anticipation and emotion, in THIS moment, it was this child that bestowed a peace on MY heart that I will never forget. I can't WAIT to see her mama and baba with Khloe in THEIR arms.....FINALLY! In addition to their family blog, Tanya and her family have set up a fundraising site (AWESOME prizes!) to help with all the final travel and in China fees, which as many of you know, ALWAYS seems to work out to be much greater than anticipated and budgeted for. Please stop over to her blog, get to know Tanya, her family, their God filled journey, their sweet daughter Khloe, and be a part of something truly wonderful....helping a child and her family be united...forever.

"And the King shall answer and say to them, Truly I say to you, In as much as you have done it to one of the least of these my brothers, you have done it to me."

(~ Matthew 25:40)

Hurry...the fundraiser ends May 2nd!! You can go directly to their fundraising site by clicking the button below...

God is SO good!!

Easter 2010

2010-04-06T20:46:00.002-04:00

Truly blessed!

God is good.

A bump in the road...

2010-03-29T17:27:00.004-04:00

Well, first the good news....

Sophie can have chocolate!! She's already downed a 3 Musk*teer, and a Car@mellow bar.

The not so good news....

She'll have to wait on that bath...

She's sporting a new red cast.

Sophie was great during the cast removal. We brought her CD player and favorite music, and she listened to that as the saw was running. Once the cast was off, Dr D came in to check out her leg, and although the swelling was pretty much gone, there was one area that has not healed as well as hoped. Sophie had some very calloused skin where she would walk on the inside portion of her foot and leg. After surgery, Dr D had mentioned that he did have some concern about how fast that area would heal, and it looks like it will need some more protected cast time so the suture line doesn't get pulled open.

After a god cry, hugs, and some time to explain why this was necessary, Sophie went into the casting room with us fully accepting this change of plans.

Not what we had hoped for, or even expected, but we know this is all for good.

He's leading the way...all will be well:-).

God is good.

Cast Off Today!

2010-03-29T07:14:00.002-04:00

Quick post here...

We're heading back to Shriners this morning, as Sophie is scheduled to get her cast off today! Woo Hoo!

We've been counting the 'sleeps' with her leading up to this day, and Sophie is pretty excited...I'm surprised she slept so well last night.

We've tried to prepare her as best we can for what to expect...

~The sound of the saw that takes the cast off...Sophie hates loud noises, but she's been reassured it's just noise, and the saw will not cut her skin.

~What her leg will feel like, and look like, after being in a cast for so long...and reassuring her that it will feel like her other leg again.

~This is the first time she will be seeing her leg without her foot....please pray for her heart. Up to now there have just been a couple instances where she's gotten sad missing her foot. Sophie also states it still feels like her foot is there. We're not sure how she will be once she sees it's gone.

~Without the protection of the cast, I'm assuming her leg will still be tender to the touch...so please pray she can handle this OK.

~Depending on how much the swelling in her leg has gone down, and how much her leg has healed will dictate whether her new prosthesis can be molded today.

Please pray for safe travels...we're supposed to get heavy rain all day today.

Sophie is looking forward to a nice bath tonight, and to be able to eat chocolate again! Since caffeine hinders healing, she's been on a no chocolate diet...poor girl.

As always, God is good!!

Wordless Wednesday X3

2010-03-24T07:54:00.003-04:00

God is good!

The Gift of an Ordinary D@y

2010-03-19T08:55:00.002-04:00

GUARANTEED you'll be glad you took the time to watch this...

****Major Tissue Warning****

Beautiful!

God is good.

A Lil' Leprechaun visit

2010-03-17T09:00:00.004-04:00

Happy St Patrick's Day!

We were visited by a wee leprechaun for the 3rd year in a row last night:-).

The kids leave out a pair of shoes on St. Patrick's Day 'Eve' in hopes of catching a passing by leprechaun's attention. This morning, they found their shoes sprinkled with 'lucky leprechaun rainbow dust' and each shoe had a coin inside.

Simple...but there were smiles all around.

After playing with the dust and collecting the coins, Sophie asked how on earth can someone that small actually make it up our deck stairs?

That girl is ALWAYS thinking!

Sophie was excited to dress for school today, and I captured the cutie wearing some green....

Many of you have asked how Sophie is doing. Thank you so much for thinking of her. She continues to do so very well..PTL! She actually went back to preschool the Monday after coming home! Here I thought she'd be out for at least a couple weeks, but she really wanted to see her friends and teachers, and since school is only for a few hours...and her teachers were game...we gave it a go!

She's done remarkable.

I continue to be amazed at how this child accepts whatever is given to her with minimal complaining, and makes the most of it. She's very mobile by using her walker, and she fills gettin' around the house with lots of crawling, scootchin' and hopping. Her balance is definitely being perfected with all this. Oh, don't get me wrong....she tries to 'work' the leg situation to her advantage at times. With us for extra holding and one on one attention (which we indulge, of course) and especially with her brothers...they indulge her as well...at least for a bit:-), but overall she's met this next step with determination and a positive attitude. She continues to be an inspiration to us all.

Her cast is becoming a bit loose now which is a good sign that the swelling is going down. They made the cast with an attached belt that goes around her waist to keep the thing from being kicked off, and after everyone at Shriners saw how active Sophie was prior to the surgery, Dr. D knew he needed to put her in a knee bent cast to help hinder the cast from coming loose. Definitely a good call.

We head back to Shriners on the 29th for the cast to be removed and assess where her leg is at.

May the luck 'o the Irish be with you all:-).

God is good!!

Sophie's home, and on the move!!

2010-03-07T10:05:00.002-05:00

Yes, she's OFF.....

We came home on Saturday as planned, and BOY, did it feel good waking up this morning in our HOME. Thank you, God.

Sophie continues to be very comfortable and is only on regular Tylenol for minor discomfort.

As you can see, Sophie has graduated very quickly from the wheel chair to the walker and is moving all over the house. Being mobile again has brought a huge smile to her face. Look at the picture below....She's already giving this mama heart palpitations as she's doing arm presses on her walker, swinging her legs back and forth.

Rewinding a bit...Sophie had a surprise on Friday night:-) My dad drove down with her geges:-)

A picture of her in her wheelchair..(probably one of the few we will have;-)

Leaving Shriners, being pushed by her big brother...

Pictures with a couple of her favorite nurses..

And this is pure Sophie...As she started to use her walker this morning, I told her that if her arms or leg becomes shaky, she needs to just sit for a bit and take a rest. She turned and looked at me with a huge smile and said, 'mom, I'll never rest'.

No sweet child....I believe with all my heart, NOTHING is going to stop you, and I have been so blessed to be chosen to be your mother and watch you 'go' and grow. You are my hero.

With tears in my eyes, and a heart overflowing with gratitude...

God is good!!

Sat. departure...on schedule!

2010-03-05T17:55:00.002-05:00

Sophie is doing great....it's actually quite remarkable. They stopped the epi around 1:00PM, and here it is just about 6:00pm, and she is TOTALLY COMFORTABLE....she says she has no pain. She is even past due for her Tylenol with codeine.

I am praising God in a big way right now.

Totally unbelievable.

We're scheduled to leave tomorrow morning. Yeah!

Thank you all for praying...it's working miracles.

GOD IS SO GOOD!

Sophie update

2010-03-05T12:21:00.003-05:00

Sophie continues to improve...thank the Lord. She's napping right now after a busy morning. She has been eating and drinking well, and was up and moving around in her wheelchair this morning. Sophie states she LOVES her 'new wheels'..lol. Thank goodness it has a safety belt! Between her need for speed, and Owen pushing, this definitely spells TROUBLE;-). PT is going to help her try out her walker this afternoon.

The doctors plan on switching Sophie's pain med from the epidural she still has, to oral tylenol with codeine. She had her first oral dose this morning, and after her second, they plan on capping the epi line, and see how she does. PLEASE pray that her comfort remains, and that her stomach tolerates the oral med. Sophie still has been vomiting off and on a bit, so I am a little worried. If she does well with this transition, we would be going home tomorrow...Yippeeee!!! If the epi line has to be started again because she's in too much pain, that would push us another day.

Nathan and Owen are doing well with my parents, though they miss their sister, and keep asking when we'll be coming home. Not too much longer guys...we love you!!

I'll try and post some pictures later if time allows.

Sophie update and pictures!

2010-03-04T07:12:00.006-05:00

Sophie did very well last night. Only woke up when the nurses came in to take her vitals, and fell back to sleep. She's had some vomiting due to the anesthesia yesterday, but seems to be doing much better today. She had a popsicle this morning, and that seems to be staying down:-). Sophie left the OR with an epidural and says she has no pain. They are going to try and get her sitting today, and hopefully on some solid food. She just said she wants some toast:-).

As promised here are some pictures from yesterday...

Getting ready to leave the hotel for the hospital

Passing the time before surgery.

Still in good spirits as they prepare her for surgery.

Sophie and Dr.D before he changed into scrubs. (Obviously we said it was OK for her to sit in his lap;-). I love a doctor that shows emotion. As he talked to Sophie, and told her he would take good care of her while she was asleep, you could see him tear up. We all had to choke back the tears at this point.

Sophie was able to decorate her anesthesia mask with stickers (she picked butterflies and race cars;-). She was also able to pick a scent(lip balm) to rub on the inside of her mask to make the mask and gas smell good. She picked root beer float:-)

Sleeping soundly after surgery.

Back in her room and in good spirits.

Love to you all!

God is surely good.

Sophie's out of surgery

2010-03-03T16:48:00.002-05:00

Sophie is out of surgery and doing very well, all things considered. Everything went as planned....no surprises...PTL!!! She is a little weepy......wanting to go home. Taking everything one step at a time...reminding Sophie she's not always going to feel the way she does right now.

Please continue to pray for her comfort and quick healing.

Thank you all for lifting us up in prayer...it's truly been carrying us.

I'll try and post some pictures at some point.

God is good.

Sophie's in Surgery

2010-03-03T12:12:00.002-05:00

Sophie went into surgery around 11:30am.

Sophie continues to inspire and win the hearts of many without even trying.

Her spirit remained strong, and she continued to emanate peace and acceptance right up to being brought into the OR.

John and I are totally impressed with everyone we have encountered at Shriners so far. You can tell they are experts at dealing with children and have not over looked any detail.

I was able to carry Sophie into the OR and stay with her until she fell asleep. There, she was asked her favorite song, and she answered Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. As she sat on the OR bed in my arms, everyone in the OR room sang with her before and while the anesthesia was given. She calmly fell asleep in my arms.

John and I are doing well. All your prayers are being felt. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

We'll keep you posted.

God is good.

Surgery Time Moved....

2010-03-02T20:38:00.001-05:00

Sophie's surgery time has been moved from 1:00pm to 11:00am tomorrow, Wednesday. We're very happy about this as Sophie can't eat anything after midnight tonight, and can't have any liquid after 3:00am. Waiting until 11:00 with an empty stomach will be hard enough, but 1:00 would be even harder. She may even go earlier if Dr. D's clinic ends sooner.

Sophie did great at the hospital today. Everyone at Shriners made her feel very
comfortable. She was given a physical, had some medical photos taken, saw her room, and met with PT to determine the size walker and wheelchair she'll use as she recovers. Sophie also had time with some other children in the atrium play area, where there is LOTS to do, while John and I went through all the admitting paperwork.

Sophie will be staying with us at the hotel tonight. We already took a dip in the pool, went out for supper, took a nice relaxing bubble bath, played some games, and now she's having some milk and coloring before bed.

Sophie said the cutest thing heading back to the hotel. She said in the most sincere voice that the first thing she's going to do when she gets home is give her geges a big hug, because she really misses them;-)

She remains so strong, and we all remain strong in Him.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
Isaiah 43:2

God is good.

Sophie's Special Keepsake

2010-02-28T09:42:00.004-05:00

I am SO thrilled this idea came to me...thank you, Jesus.

Sophie is OVERJOYED with her keepsake foot, and it's so very apparent how it's providing a tremendous amount of comfort to her as her procedure approaches. To Sophie, by having this memento, she's IS able to keep her foot with her always;-).

Sophie continues to process things very positively. Please continue to pray for her sustained comfort and peace.

On a side note, I'm sure many of you have heard about the severe storm that hit NE on Thursday night. We are still without power. We do have a generator, so we have heat, lights, and coffee in the morning;-). We're all faring quite well, but I really hope power is restored before we have to leave on Tue. morning. My parents are coming to watch the boys, and I really don't want them to have to deal with this. I've been stealing my hubby's work computer, and thanks to wireless broadband, I'm able to post and stay connected:-)

As promised, here's some pictures of the finished masterpiece;-) being revealed.

Philippians 4:4-7
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Thank you to everyone who is standing with us through this.

As always, God is good.

Sophie now knows...and....

2010-02-26T18:44:00.012-05:00

She continues to blow us away with her strength and acceptance!

God is so good....based on her response, I would say He did provide us the 'right' words we had fervently prayed for, and we definitely felt His presence as Sophie was told...praise the Lord!! Best of all, He very obviously wrapped Sophie's heart with the peace and understanding only He can provide.

The boys have known about Sophie's procedure for quite some time, and they wanted to lend support when it was time to let Sophie in on the full truth. After John and I prayed, we called a family meeting.

No tears...not one....but a lot of questions....Sophie just wants to know ALL the particulars in how her foot is actually going to be removed....I wouldn't be surprised a bit if we have the makings of a doctor here;-).

John and I were awestruck...as were Nathan and Owen.

As the 3rd approaches, the tears may and probably will come...honestly, I'd be worried if they didn't, but for now she's handling things unbelievably well. Sophie asked if we could keep her foot after it was removed, and once we finished explaining why that wouldn't be possible, the next question out of her mouth was 'what are the doctors going to DO with the foot??' I said maybe they would use it to help train other doctors, which she smiled about, but that would be a good question for her to ask Dr. D;-). After our last visit to Shriners, we were sent home with an anesthesia mask and surgical apparel for Sophie to play with. She loves the hair bonnets! She quickly went to get the mask when we told her how she was going to breathe in medicine to make her sleep very deeply, until the surgery was all over. She had fun pretending to 'breathe in' the medicine and pretended to quickly fall asleep. Sophie wanted me to pretend to cut her foot off...which I obliged(THAT was hard for this mama)...then she wanted to be the Doctor and gave US the medicine. After making her rounds in putting us all to sleep, the question of 'how do I wake up?' came up. I told her that once the doctor stops giving you the medicine, you wake up. That of course was incorporated into our play. Sophie knows when she wakes up she'll have a cast on her leg, and she's excited about everyone being able to sign and draw on it. Sophie's been wrapping her dolls legs in pretend casts. She seems to be processing things wonderfully so far.

After our discussion and surgical 'play time', I revealed the memory casting kit that I had purchased, and told Sophie we could make a mold of her foot that she could ALWAYS keep, and she was all over that!!

Doing this was very special. I took some pictures of the process and wanted to share...I'll post pictures of the finished product after we remove the cast from the bucket tomorrow.

As always, God is good!

Home 6 Months!!!

2010-02-19T11:16:00.002-05:00

Today marks 6 months of Sophie being HOME...Yoo Hoo!!

The time has gone so fast, yet at the same time it seems like she's been with us forever.

Yesterday, Sophie and I went shopping for a special 'celebration' cake that we could have after dinner tonight. Was she EX-CIT-ED!!

Can you guess what color the flowers are????

Yup...pink:-)

And what's a cake without candles?? Miss Sophie will have 6 candles to blow out...one representing each month she's been home.

Sophie also loves to look and listen to the neat music cards you can buy nowadays, so we made our way to a card store so she could pick one out to mark this special milestone. After about 20 minutes of opening and re-opening cards....she picked her favorite:-).

I took a short video of her yesterday after we got home, and wanted to share a little 'Sophie-ness' with you all....

Psalm 92:4-5 For you make me glad by your deeds, O Lord; I sing for joy at the works of your hands, How great are your works, O Lord, how profound are your thoughts!

God is good!

Help Bring Rachel Home

2010-02-18T13:20:00.002-05:00

Check out a FAB-U-LOUS fundraiser!!

More importantly....help bring a child home to her forever family.

Only 4 days left!!

Countdown

2010-02-16T19:02:00.003-05:00

Sophie's procedure is approaching quickly (15 days and counting) and I wanted to update everyone as to where we are 'at'.

To recap, Sophie's syme amputation is scheduled for March 3rd at Shriner's in Springfield, MA. In this procedure, Sophie's partial foot will be removed and her leg will be prepared for a prosthesis. We'll be heading down on the 2nd of March for pre-op items to be done. Please pray Sophie remains healthy for her procedure.

Over the past few months we've been getting Sophie's leg evaluated, and we've basically been given two options....syme amputation or reconstructive surgeries. John and I have weighed the options, and of course prayed about what road to take...amputation or reconstructive surgery. We feel fully at peace that amputation is what's in Sophie's best interest. The reconstruction road would require MULTIPLE surgical procedures, with painful leg lengthening in between over the entire course of her adolescence, all without the guarantee of a fully functional leg or that there wouldn't be problems down the road. This would be a very difficult, painful road for ANY child, but when you factor in Sophie's start to life, John and I had a difficult time even considering putting her through all that. A big priority of ours is for Sophie to be able to look back and have happy, typical childhood memories, not a childhood that would be filled with with numerous surgeries, hospital stays, rehabs, and substantial PAIN....all just to have a natural leg??

Prosthetics available today are simply AMAZING!!

As you know, Sophie is very active, and maneuvers with her current brace so well. This girl walks with 'attitude' now, I can't WAIT to see what she will do with her 'new leg':-)!! I know nothing will hold Sophie back from doing whatever she sets her mind to. She is so confident and has such a 'can do' attitude....I can honestly say, I stand in awe of her spirit on a daily basis.

I need to extend a huge Thank you to New Day for fitting Sophie with the brace she came home with. The way it accommodated her partial foot was quite ingenious. With ND's generosity, Sophie was given not only the the gift of mobility but also time. Time for her to adjust to a new family, a new country, and a new culture, all without the added stress and fear of going through surgery. We were given time to gel into a family of 5, time to get to know Sophie, weigh our options and facilities, pray, and choose what we feel is the 'right' time to move forward with the next step in our journey. Saying 'Thank you' doesn't start to cover our gratitude.

I've been hooked into a child amputee network that has given me so much support in preparation for what is to come. Sophie knows, and is excited about getting a 'new leg', but she still doesn't know she will be loosing her foot.

Honestly, I'm dreading this conversation, but I know it needs to happen soon.

Frankly, I have let 'opportunities' pass by because I haven't been ready. When we look at pictures/videos of kids with prosthetics she'll comment that none of these kids have a foot like hers...and asks..how is my leg going to fit? My heart skips a beat, I hold my breath, and I just can't bring myself to tell her. I fill in by saying 'the doctors will know just what needs to be done when the time comes', and thankfully she seems content with that.

Loosing her foot will be another loss for her...for all of us. I paint those three little toes, and play 'this little piggy' with them just as I do with the other 5. Sophie actually reminds me of Th*umper from B@mbi in the way she shakes that foot when she's excited. I....We ALL, will miss that, and I wish I could spare her all this...but, I know this is for the best, and I'm putting my trust in God...that He will equip us to help her through this.

Yesterday, I bought a casting kit and bucket to do a casting of her foot to have as a keepsake, and of course we have lots of pictures;-). Sophie's only concern so far was that she wouldn't be able to keep her old brace, and once we told her we would be able to keep that forever, she was totally content. We have been discussing all the POSITIVES that will come with her new prosthesis. How she'll be able to do all the things she does now faster, easier and better once she gets used to it, and she'll be able to do new things as well....like ice skating and skiing next winter when she has her new leg. Sophie loves watching videos of kids with prosthetics participating in sports, and I reinforce the fact that she'll be able to do all that too.

I pray that God will give John and I the right words when we discuss the full extent of what will happen, and that He will place peace upon Sophie's heart as she faces this big step. We want to give Sophie enough time to process what will happen, and WHY this needs to be done, but we also don't want to give her too much time to worry.

*SIGH*

I'm praying this will be one of those times when I've worried needlessly over something I think is going to devastate my child and they surprise me with acceptance, strength and understanding beyond their years.

So there you have it...

That's where we're 'at'.

I'll update again after we talk to Sophie...which will be soon.

As always, God is good!

Our Time Up North

2010-02-04T14:28:00.003-05:00

We had a great time on our little weekend getaway in the north country!

The morning we were scheduled to leave, John took the kids to Nathan's basketball game, and I stayed home to 'stealthily' pack. Hee Hee! We were able to keep the trip a secret until they came home, and I only wish I had my camera out to catch the reaction on their faces when we told them. Priceless! The kids were so excited...and being told we were keeping them out of school on Monday was icing on the cake for Nathan and Owen!!

The car trip up was very enjoyable..lots of conversation, and I think only 1 'are we there yet':-). Perfect in my book!

We arrived in N. Conw@y NH, Sat. afternoon and spent the remainder of the day walking around the town, enjoying the pool and jacuzzi, and went out for dinner that evening. The kids were simply awestruck with the hotel room. We got a great rate on a 2 bedroom suite at the new Resid*nce Inn up there...honestly it was a steal! Since we're a family with, how can I say, small, very outdated TVs in our house, the 3 huge flat screen HDTVs had the kids totally occupied for that evening. Man, you'd swear they had never seen a TV before!

The next morning, we decided to go tubing at the nearby ski mountain. Fun, fun fun...UNTIL the upper tubing runs were opened about three quarters into our tubing time.

Of course, we had to check it out.

On our first run, I decided to go down with Nathan (holding onto each others tubes). The woman working that run told me there was a jump in this run about 1/2 way down, and we would catch 'a little air' . Nathan was very excited, and me not wanting to disappoint said 'OK', thinking to myself...'I've gone over jumps sledding with the kids, I can do this'.

I should have listened to that little voice inside whispering 'don't go'.....after all, I should have realized at a ski mountain...'a little air' is a relative term.

In MY book, the woman SHOULD have said....'Don't go down this hill unless you want to fly through the air at break-neck speed, desperately trying to hold onto your tube for dear life, and you enjoy hitting the ground with such force it will knock the wind out of you'.

It was NOT good.

Thank God I didn't have Sophie in my lap as John and I were taking turns having her ride with us. It would have been disastrous.

To make what was to come even worse, about half way down the hill our tubes turned around so we were going backwards.....not able to see WHEN we were going to actually hit the jump.

As soon as we hit the jump I KNEW I was in trouble....but there was nothing I could do at that point.

After some major air time, we very abruptly hit the ground and I immediately felt tremendous pain run down both legs. Thank God Nathan was fine.

I, on the other hand, screamed out in pain and had to just hold on until the tube came to a stop at the end of the run.

Needless to say, that was the end of tubing.

I fractured my tailbone in my early twenties skiing, and I'm positive I did it again.

Ladies, in addition to being in extreme pain, I have a bruise on my derriere the size of a softball and I have swelling in the one place most women, me included, don't desire any extra padding, if you know what I mean? I am also waddling like I'm nine months pregnant!

We went back to the hotel and I loaded up on M0trin, and spent the next couple of hours alternating between a cold pack and going in the hot tub...which felt wonderful.

After some of the pain subsided, we went to grab some lunch and then took the kids for a horse drawn sleigh ride and some ice skating. I was determined to not let this ruin our weekend, and still have fun. Although I was really looking forward to skating with the kids (I pull Sophie on a sled behind me and she LOVES it), I obviously had to pass. There was no way I was able to skate. John doesn't ice skate, and at that point, we needed one parent who didn't have an injury...so the boys had to go it alone. They understood, and had a great time skating just the two of them, none the less. John, Sophie and I stayed in the warming hut and we treated Sophie to some cotton candy. She was totally content.

Since our trip was from Saturday to Monday, and most people check out on Sunday, we had the pool facilities at the hotel all to ourselves for the majority of the time:-).

On Monday morning we took the kids to a local play zone where they had tons of fun doing arcade style games and enjoying an inflatable play area.

Despite the unfortunate injury, the time 'away' and being together was so needed. We headed home with smiles all around.

If you think of it, please pray my tailbone heals quickly. I have trouble bending over and lifting Sophie right now, and in about a month I will definitely need to be able to do this after her procedure.

Thanks:-)! Enjoy the pictures below!

God is good!

Definitely...A New Day!

2010-01-29T21:39:00.004-05:00

First off, YOU GUYS ROCK!!!!

I put my previous post out there in despair...

feeling alone....

doubting and blaming myself.....

not sure if I should even take the risk and talk about this....

And did you guys EVER come through!!!!

The outpouring of support I've received from the adoption community has truly touched my heart....

THANK YOU for standing with me!!!

Thank you for all your words of support and encouragement....

Thank you for sharing your stories and similar experiences ....

thank you for helping me feel not so alone...

Thank you for your words of advice...**if you haven't checked out the comment section under my Definitely NOT Wordless Wednesday post...take some time....you'll find some REALLY good stuff there....

And of course, THANK YOU for your prayers.

My heart is now at peace. I'm no longer doubting what I've been feeling inside, and once again, I'm reminded a mother's instinct is not to be ignored. I feel very directed and secure in how John and I need to proceed to address this issue head on.

My strength is renewed....

It's DEFINITELY a new day:-)

God is so good.

Tomorrow, we're off for a long weekend up north to enjoy some uninterrupted family time, and all the winter has to offer up here in New England.

The kids don't know yet.

I love a surprise, and quite honestly, I love not having to listen to the mantra of 'is it time to leave yet???????' all morning long. John is going to take the kids to basketball...I'll stay behind to pack, and if everything goes as planned, the car will be ready to go when they get home!

In the car, I'll still be listening to 'are we there yet????'....but hey, 2 out of 3 isn't too bad;-).

Have a great weekend!!!

Definitely NOT Wordless Wednesday

2010-01-27T14:30:00.003-05:00

This is NOT what I had planned on doing today during my free time while Sophie is at preschool.

As you can see...this is NOT Wordless Wednesday, by any means, and this is so NOT like me to NOT take advantage of the simplicity and ease of a 'wordless Wednesday' photo post..lol!

IF I had planned on writing a post with text, this is definitely NOT the topic I had planned, but I feel the tremendous need to share, keep it real, ask for advice, similar experiences, VENT, etc....

You know, it's so much easier, more 'safe', and much more fun to write a post about life being good. I'm seriously doubting whether I should be so transparent (to borrow a word we hear a lot of frequently)...you know...it puts you "out there", but I'm taking a risk, because so many times I feel like I'm the ONLY one going through something, or has gone through this, and more times than not...I find that's not the case..

So, here it goes....

To preface all that's to come....things are going overall, very well with Sophie. She is thriving, and I can honestly say I stand in awe of this child's strength, ability to trust, and her spirit that shines so brightly. I LOVE this child with all my heart, and thank the Lord for her every day. She has and continues to touch so many people by just 'being her'. I knew this adoption road would not be without bumps... and I've hit one o' those bumps now. I think maybe my deep love for her is why this bothers me to the extent that it does, and I tell myself that's a good thing. I know God will continue to help mend what is broken, and I stand firm in that....but even with faith, it's still just plain hard sometimes.

There have been some 'adjustment' issues that we're dealing with....minor in the whole scope of things, but I find I'm at a loss on how to 'fix' it. I'm hurt, and simply frustrated.

Sophie was quite shy with anyone outside our immediate family for the first few months being home. Now that she's had time to adjust, and her security and confidence has grown, she's become much more comfortable and friendly with others. I'm so happy she has come out of her shell, but with that, we're now dealing with 'boundary/affection issues'. Not quite sure how to phrase it, but this is becoming apparent mostly with women. I wouldn't characterize this as indiscriminate stranger affection, but once Sophie feels comfortable with someone, which is usually by the second/third time she sees them, she becomes very affectionate with them and it's like I disappear. There have even been a couple instances of where she'll call them 'mama'. Don't get me wrong...I like the fact she's coming out of her shell, talking, being friendly etc.... but, to put it bluntly, she plants herself on their lap for an extended period of time, if left to her own devices, and acts like they're one of the family. I feel like I disappear in her eyes, and my heart breaks.

Sophie and I HAVE come a long way in our mother-daughter relationship. I know she loves me, and has no difficulty showing me affection....the problem is, she's JUST AS AFFECTIONATE toward others. I know Sophie is inherently a very affectionate child, and I don't want to stifle that, but it's becoming clear, now that she's in a family, she needs to learn some boundaries.

This is SO different than my mothering experience with both boys. Both boys were VERY attached to me, and I basically had the opposite challenge, of where my efforts were spent making them feel more comfortable in broadening their surroundings and their relationships. Heck, I felt like I was part of the teaching staff when Owen started pre-school. I was there with him for the entire class for a MONTH before he could make it through the morning without me!

This is really hard for me. Partly because Sophie and I did have a rough start, and I'm trying to decipher what are MY feelings of maybe 'jealousy' toward her similar affection with other women, as well as maybe my expectations being set too high or too fast with our mother-daughter relationship. MY gut tells me certain things need to be addressed, but at the same time, I don't want to make an issue out of something that maybe will just resolve with TIME.

I don't know if I'm explaining all this well, but I do know it feels darn therapeutic!

I think these boundary/affection issues may be something more common with adopting 'older' children (I have such a hard time labeling 4 as old...but you know what I mean), and definitely with children being adopted from a communal/institutional setting. With that said...I'm SO HAPPY I'm dealing with THIS issue vs a child that isn't attaching at all....and I think this, in part, is due to New Day having alot of staff and volunteers available to love on the kids, which given the children's unfortunate situation, is definitely what's needed and a tremendous blessing.

Even though Sophie is very well adjusted with all things considered, this issue is forcing me to look at the fact that even in an exceptional place like New Day, nothing can EVER take the place of a family, the continuity of care given by a mother and father, and that the losses these children experience become part of who they are, how they act, and how they react. For survival in a multiple caregiver, multiple child setting, children learn (especially the older ones) just 'what to do' in order to compete and to get peoples attention. It hurts this 'mama's heart' to see the remnants of what Sophie has had to endure. I just want to be able to erase all the bad parts, but I know I can't. You never think of being part of a family as something that has to be learned, but it's something foreign to these children and an adjustment that simply takes understanding, patience and time.

I think I have the understanding part, I'm praying for patience, and maybe acceptance in that things are where the're AT and not where I want them to be....yet.

Even though I read adoption books to prepare me for Sophie's adoption, you can only prepare so much, and reading about something and then experiencing it, are two different things. I knew how much Sophie wanted a mama, and I couldn't wait to be her mama. As I said, I knew there would be bumps, and I hit a major one in China with her total rejection of me. Although we have come so far since then, and I understood in China 'logically' why she was acting the way she was, it still broke my heart. I'm there again now. I understand logically what is going on, but man...when I see her so affectionate with someone else it just breaks my heart and makes me doubt if there really is anything special between us?

Would she miss me now if I were replaced?

I don't want to make this about me, but I am part of the we in this mother-daughter relationship.

While being home the first couple months with Sophie, I learned that although children in orphanages crave a 'mama', the word 'mama' to them is really no different than 'Jane, John, teacher, Mr Smith, etc'. mama is any female caregiver in the room. They KNOW they are missing something 'special', but they've never experienced that 'specialness'that comes along with a true mother-child relationship. All the 'specialness' that the word mama holds, and all the bonding and attachment that comes without effort before a child can ever speak the word 'mama' was stolen from them...it now becomes something that has to be LEARNED with patience.

It's not the way it should be.

And, as if that's not enough, where the word 'mama' should embody unconditional love and security, these children have been shown just the opposite.

Their mamas have left them.

many experience multiple losses.

But they still want a mama of their own, even though attaching again must terrify them.

It's simply sad, and my eyes have been open to the complexity of it all.

Sorry, I'm rambling...

Back to the affection issue with Sophie....I know none of this is Sophie's fault...she's not doing this on purpose, or even cognisant of her actions.

This is what she's learned for survival.

I have looked through the adoption books I have, and I find most attachment issues/strategies are centered around adopting much younger children or babies, and if there is a mention of inappropriate 'stranger affection', it's usually what I would consider a 'severe' case where the child will literally go up to complete strangers in public and act inappropriately affectionate. We have had only one instance of Sophie going up to a gentleman(a friend) she had never seen before who came to the door and she raised her arms to be picked up.

There doesn't seem to be many strategies offered on how to handle this.

Well there it is....I know I've probably been all over the place. My mind is reeling, and my wounds are raw right now, as I had to deal with this 'issue' at a basketball game last night. I simply lost it after the kids went to bed.

I broke.

This is all so difficult at times, because unless you've been through an adoption, people just don't seem to 'get it'. I find people in general think it's WONDERFUL that you have a child so friendly, loving and affectionate, especially after all they've been through, and you're left standing there feeling alone with the turmoil raging in your heart.

Yes, I know He is here.

Yes, I know this too shall pass.

I'm praying Sophie will fully come to trust that she has a forever family that adores her...that will provide her with enough love to fill her heart....that she has a family that will never leave her.....that she comes to know the never ending, sufficient love that only He can provide, and that He mends this mama's heart.

God is good.

Yes, We're Alive!

2010-01-25T13:10:00.000-05:00

...and enjoying life, the snow here in New England, and all the winter sports that go along with it. Nathan and Owen are both playing basketball and we've been spending time doing our fair share of sledding, tubing, snowshoeing (Sophie too!!) and ice skating. Hey, when in New England you HAVE to make the best of the snow or it makes for a REALLY long winter!

I find I'm not spending much time on the computer...which I guess is a good thing, EXCEPT for keeping everyone updated...sorry! Thank you to so many of you who have 'checked in' on me;-))). So sweet...I actually got 4 emails right in a row from various parts of the country asking if everything was OK.

I feel so loved;-).

I HAVE been keeping tabs on all of you through your blogs, though I haven't been so good at leaving comments lately....apologies again...but please know you're in my thoughts, on my heart, and always in my prayers.

To not keep you guys hanging much more, I'll do a quick update on the family and of course...Miss Sophie...

I think I'm probably one of the latest to update on Christmas(seems so far away now), but better late than never...we had a wonderful holiday, with LOTS of friends and family in and out for 2 weeks, and as I'm sure you can all imagine, it WAS extra special with Sophie home..PTL!! She made out quite well in the gift department (hey, who can blame me for going a little crazy, and I think 'Melissa and Doug' actually know my name;-). The boys were quite happy as they awoke to a ping pong table that they had been hoping for for over a year now, and Miss Sophie was awestruck with her play kitchen.

Here's a favorite picture in front of the Christmas tree...

We were getting ready for Christmas Eve service, and of course I wanted to get a picture of the kids 'dressed up'. My mind must have been elsewhere, go figure, because I didn't even notice until after the fact that the boys didn't have their shirts tucked in, or their shoes on....gotta love the white socks....at least they didn't have any holes;-), and Sophie's one white ruffled sock that she simply HAD to wear on her brace...

You gotta laugh, right!!

Sophie has started preschool, and she is LOVIN it. This was another answer to prayer, and as usual, He provides beyond expectation. She goes mornings on M,W,F. There are only 6 kids in her class (with two wonderful teachers) and one of the girls was adopted from Russia this past summer. When Sophie and I went to visit the school, we were greeted by warm 'Ni Haos' and for their music time selection the teachers and kids sang a song with some Chinese in it1! Very impressive and welcoming!! By the end of the day, Sophie was acting like she had been there since the beginning of the school year!! I KNEW this was the right place. The transition was so easy...PTL.

I have to share a special story that happened while we were visiting that day. The school had just received a donation of about 100 children's books, and they were all in a box. Before story time, Sara, Sophie's teacher, gave a pile of books to each child and asked them to look through their books and make two piles. One pile was for books that interests you, and another for those that don't. Everyone made their piles. Sara then asked each child to pick one book from their 'interesting' pile that they would like her to read during snack time. Each child picked their favorite. At snack Sara proceeded to read the chosen books. One little girl named Lily picked the book called 'A Mother for Choco.' I had never heard this book before, but it has to be one of THE MOST touching children's stories about adoption I have ever read. Needless to say, I didn't make it through without needing a tissue...or two...or three!! Both of the teachers commented on the 'chances' that that particular book was chosen and how appropriate and touching it was given Sophie was visiting that day. Another beautiful reminder that He is here...always...in the big and the small.

For the preschool Christmas party, the kids dressed up as different animals and danced to the music of the Nutcracker. They had a blast! Sophie was THE cutest and most sweet smelling skunk ever!!!!

Last but definitely not least, I wanted to let everyone know where we're 'at' with Sophie's leg. We've scheduled Sophie's syme amputation for March 3rd at Shriners.

*sigh.*

This procedure will remove her partial foot and enable her to be fitted with a prosthetic leg. John and I have prayed long and hard over WHEN to have this done, and we both feel for many reasons, now is the time to move forward. With no complications, Sophie will be in the hospital for three days, and then in an above the knee leg cast for about a month. Once everything has healed sufficiently, she will be fitted for her 'new leg' and should be up and walking with it in about another month.

Please keep us in your prayers as we start to prepare her for this next step.

Gotta run....more about all this in another post...promise...

As always.....

God is good!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-23T17:08:00.003-05:00

May the true spirit of this holy season be with you throughout the year.

Merry Christmas!

You will have great joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth.
Luke 1:14

Wordless Wednesday

2009-12-16T16:43:00.002-05:00

Wordless Winter Wednesday

2009-12-09T06:44:00.000-05:00

Oh Christmas tree...

2009-12-07T20:13:00.003-05:00

We had an extra special time looking for our Christmas tree this year, and I'm sure you all know why......Sophie is with us this year!!!

On Saturday, we piled into the car, played some Christmas music and drove to one of our favorite Christmas tree farms. We were also eagerly awaiting the first snow of the season, which was predicted to start that afternoon, and everyone felt very festive.

Once we arrived, John and I did our annual 'picking on each other' that the kids just love to hear. Really, they DO. He pokes jokes and brings up memories of how um...'particular' I am about the tree we get, and I in turn, poke fun at John's attitude of 'come on...they all look good, let's just get one that fits in the room, OK?' Yes, I must admit, I've 'insisted' on a couple trees over the years that when we got it home we had to cut off nearly half of it so it would fit. Oooops....Isn't it funny how trees look so much smaller when you're looking at them outside? NOW we measure...length and width;-).

I have to add, Sophie is such a trooper when it comes to walking. She really does a wonderful job keeping up. When Sophie does gets a bit tired, as you can readily see from the pictures below, she has two brothers that jump at the chance to give her a piggy back ride! As we ventured through the farm looking for that one special tree, we found some that were a bit to short, a bit too plump, a bit too sparse, a bit uneven, way too tall etc....until we narrowed it down to two that seemed 'just right'. We all decided we would let Sophie pick which one would be ours, and that really put a smile on her face. She did pick a beauty:-).

Just as John finished cutting our tree, we heard the farm's tractor approaching, and we were able to hitch a ride back to the stand. Considering we found our tree towards the back of the tree farm it WAS nice to be able to ride back instead of lugging a tree all that way. John was especially happy about that, as HE would have done most of the lugging, and I'm sure it spared our tree some wear and tear.

The snow did fall Sat night as predicted (see post below;-), and we spent Sunday afternoon putting all the trimmings on the tree.

Now...it really does look like Christmas around here!!!

God is good!

It's beginning to look a lot like...

2009-12-06T07:51:00.003-05:00

Christmas!

This is what we woke up to this morning. I just LOVE the first snow fall, and wanted to share God's beauty:-).

The heaven's declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech:
night after night they display knowledge.
There is no speech or language
where their voice is not heard.
Their voice goes out to all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
Psalm 19 1-4

Just as the snow started to fall, we cut down our Christmas tree yesterday. Will share pictures later.

Happy Sunday!

God is good!

God's Baseball Game

2009-12-04T13:02:00.003-05:00

Being a baseball lovin' family...I just had to share:

THE LORD'S BASEBALL GAME

Freddy and the Lord stood by to observe a baseball game. The Lord's team was playing Satan's team. The Lord's team was at bat, the score was tied zero to zero, and it was the bottom of the 9th inning with two outs. They continued to watch as a batter stepped up to the plate named 'Love.'

Love swung at the first pitch and hit a single, because 'Love never fails.' The next batter was named Faith, who also got a single because Faith works with Love. The next batter up was named Godly Wisdom. Satan wound up and threw the first pitch.

Godly Wisdom looked it over and let it pass: Ball one. Three more pitches and Godly Wisdom walked because he never swings at what Satan throws.

The bases were now loaded. The Lord then turned to Freddy and told him He was now going to bring in His star player. Up to the plate stepped Grace. Freddy said, 'He sure doesn't look like much!'

Satan's whole team relaxed when they saw Grace. Thinking he had won the game, Satan wound up and fired his first pitch. To the shock of everyone, Grace hit the ball harder than anyone had ever seen! But Satan was not worried; his center fielder let very few get by.

He went up for the ball, but it went right through his glove, hit him on the head and sent him crashing on the ground; the roaring crowds went wild as the ball continued over the fence . . for a home run! The Lord's team won!

The Lord then asked Freddy if he knew why Love, Faith and Godly Wisdom could get on base but couldn't win the game. Freddy answered that he didn't know why.

The Lord explained, 'If your love, faith and wisdom had won the game, you would think you had done it by yourself. Love, Faith and Wisdom will get you on base but only My Grace can get you Home:

'For by Grace are you saved, it is a gift of God; not of works, lest any man should boast.' Ephesians 2:8-9

Psalm 84:11, 'For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.'

Thank you Jesus!

God is good!

Got Turkey????

2009-12-02T18:31:00.005-05:00

OK....and just for you, Sara...some Sophie pictures on the more serious side....

Life is GOOD!

Oh, and I've TOTALLY blown my Christmas budget at Barefoot Books. 20% of book proceeds ordered through December 20th goes to New Day Foster Home. Check out Jenna's blog for some great suggestions. If you're looking for some beautiful cultural children's' books, and even music, this is the place to go! Please take note...you need to link to Barefoot Books from my side bar, by clicking here or from Jenna's blog, for the proceeds to go to NDFH. There is also no shipping charge for standard delivery on purchases over $35!! Check them out....you won't be disappointed!

God is GOOD!

Shriners and SO much more...

2009-11-05T19:20:00.010-05:00

Sophie had her evaluation at Shriners Hospital on Wednesday, and it was SO WORTH the 2 and 1/2 hour drive to get there! The day turned into SO much more than I expected...I just have to share.

To start, I have to rewind a bit. Sophie talks very freely about her life in China, which I am so happy about! A few days ago while I was putting her to bed, China was on her mind. As we talked, I asked her what she missed most about China and she said 'the China kids'. She's been missing her friends at New Day. She asks if she will ever see any of them again, I could only answer with the fact that I sure hope so. I remember my heart saying a prayer that God would fill the yearning for China Sophie was feeling in her heart.

A couple days before Sophie's appointment, I emailed a fellow ND mom, Carolyn who adopted 'Esther' from New Day back in 2007. Esther is now Christina. While waiting to bring Sophie home, Carolyn had shared with me the orthopedic issues Christina has, along with her enthusiasm over, and positive experiences with Shriners' care. As our appointment approached I decided to email Carolyn just to let her know that Sophie's first appointment was coming up, and on the OFF CHANCE that Christina was going to be there (yeah, right;-)...maybe we could meet...ya know, do lunch...LOL...like what are the chances, right ???!! WELL, Carolyn emails me back and informs me that Christina DOES have an appt the very same morning as Sophie!!!!! What are the chances of that???

HE definitely provides.

We spent the morning there together with our girls, getting to know each other...talking face to face...and Sophie was able to connect with a fellow New Day child. Christina and Sophie are only 1 month apart in age, and although Christina was leaving with her family right around the time Sophie was arriving at New day...I could see in Sophie's face, that just knowing Christina spent time in the same place she did, God provided just what Sophie needed....a connection to New Day; to China, and in His orchestration, God gave us both a big hug!

If all that wasn't enough, as I was walking into the hospital that morning, I heard a voice call out to me from a car. My first though was, "who knows me here??" I turned to see who it was, and I was so surprised to see our good family friends, Dick and Lucille who were neighbors of my family as I grew up!! Dick is also the Shriner who sponsors Sophie!! Although you don't need a sponsor to go to Shriners, members still take great pride in sponsoring children:-). Turns out Dick and Lucille were up visiting their daughter who lives about 30 minutes from the hospital. As Sophie's sponsor they get updates and are notified of her appointment dates. They decided to surprise us, and of course they couldn't miss an opportunity to spend time with Miss Sophie. Love you Dick and Lucille!!!

As far as Shriner's Hospital...well, from the moment we walked through the door, it was apparent it is ALL about the kids there. Everyone was so warm, and while they are very efficient (we were seen right on time), we never felt rushed. Sophie was seen by the Chief of Orthopedics and I was totally impressed. Dr D. had a wonderful bedside manner and even more importantly, he was very experienced and knowledgeable in cases such as Sophie's. He did a thorough exam and explained our options. I left in peace; confident in knowing Sophie would be in excellent hands.

Prayers answered...thank you, Lord.

After her medical evaluation, Sophie and I moved on to orthotics where they replaced the old velcro on her brace with new PINK velcro. Woo hoo! A little thing...but Oh, if you could have seen the smile!! A cushion was added to an area inside the brace to minimize chaffing, and after an adjustment to her brace, Sophie now doesn't need a lift anymore on her other shoe!! All this free of charge. I can't tell you how happy Sophie is with the fact that we can go to a store, buy a pair of shoes, and she can just wear them. Needless to say she has a new pair of sneakers, shoes, and boots for the winter.

Miss Sophie is very proud of her brace...and hey, a girl can't have too many shoes, right?

As always, God is good!

Halloween with Sophie

2009-11-01T10:05:00.003-05:00

It was wonderful having Sophie with us for some fun 'Trick or Treating' this year!! It only took going to a couple of houses for Sophie to catch on to what the night was all about.....say 3 words....'trick or treat', and you get candy put in your bag! Good deal!! Add a 'thank you' at the end, and you're golden!

Here are some shots from the day....

Halloween party with Owen's class

My Rocky B!! Check out the fact that O is finally getting his front teeth!! It only took about 10 months;-)

The k-2 parade....

A stunning pink princess:-)!

The three kiddos! I'm just so thankful the face paint actually came off Nathan without much to do!

Ok, this one just cracked me up;-).

The Halloween posse! These are the greatest group of boys....and now a little
Lady:-).

Examining, trading and eating some of the loot!

The morning after...more sugar...more sorting and trading.

Owen building a 'DOTs' house.

You may be wondering what's up with the hats???? I bought the kids new winter hats the other day made by a family from Nepal (friends of my neighbors). You can tell they were a huge hit with the boys. It hit 70 degrees here yesterday....but the boys wouldn't take them off;-)!! The hats are only $15.00(wool with fleece lining). If you're looking for some beautiful Christmas gifts check out their website...their sweaters are gorgeous!! Everything is made to your size and helps women support their families....Seven Sisters' Woolen Crafts

Sophie's comment...."This was fun!! Can we do this again tonight?"

As always...God is good!

Halloween Cookie Craze

2009-10-23T20:21:00.003-04:00

This past weekend, we made Halloween cookies. Oh my, where does the time go??? Here it is, basically the weekend AGAIN and I'm just posting this!

Sophie and I had a great time splurging on what seemed like all the edible black and orange decorations (thank goodness for coupons!) we could find. Throw in a little pink (request of Miss Sophie), sugar cookie dough (store bought, of course), cookie cutters, frosting etc... and we had all the makings of a party!! Our neighbor's kids, Jane and Ned spent the night, and it turned into quite the event...there was some serious artistic planning going on in our dining room. Despite the kids having major amounts of refined sugar at about 8:00 at night, (what was I thinking)!! It actually worked out OK....they were all asleep by 10:30....not too bad for a sleep over in my book...

Hungry yet???

God is good!!

Time up north and a medical update...

2009-10-15T19:50:00.006-04:00

I'll divide this post into two segments....first our mini vacation up north....and second, an update on Sophie's first leg evaluation here in the states...

This past weekend we headed about 5 hours north into northern Maine to visit John's side of the family and friends. the kids had off Columbus Day and the Friday before from school, so it was a perfect time to make the trip! This was the first time John's mom, step dad and extended family met Sophie, and as suspected, she charmed everyone and stole their hearts! We were also able to spend some time at a favorite spot...a camp called the Frog Pond, which is on Abejejus Lake. This has to be one of my favorite spots in the world. The deck off the camp overlooks the lake with Mt Katahdin in perfect view straight ahead. The only thing that makes the view better is when you can hear the call of loons on the lake in the background. It's really quite breathtaking. The kids always have a great time enjoying the outdoors, and it was really special having Sophie experience this special place with us for the first time. Despite the cold and mostly windy weather, we were blessed with some breaks when the sun appeared, and the wind died down, enabling us to enjoy some of our favorite outdoor activities. What wasn't in short supply was good time visiting with family and friends.

Family, friends, the Frog Pond, and yummy cupcakes .....

Bean bag tourney in the old boat house, and MORE cupcakes (Sophie wouldn't put hers down for anything!! Cupcake in one hand, bean bag in the other;-)....

Autumn splendor way up north...

As far as Sophie's first leg evaluation...She was very comfortable and cooperative during our visit to Children's Hospital in Boston. the staff was great. They took new x-rays, which I figured would happen, as the ones we have are over a year old. Praise the Lord...her hips look good, as well as her knee. The right femur is a bit shorter, but expected with her condition. The physician said the 'text book' answer is amputation... the question is how much of the lower leg can be saved and offer the most functionality. I was very happy to hear that in his opinion he saw no reason they would have to take the knee. He closed with saying before any decision is made, he wants another physican within the group to examine Sophie, as she has more experience/expertise in this area...there may be other options/ considerations, and in all likelyhood she would do the proceedure(s). Since we gave the intake person at Children's all of Sophie's medical info before the appt was made, I was a bit frustrated as to why we weren't given an appt with THIS physician that specializes more in Sophie's condition to begin with...aggrrgghhh. ....BUT there's nothing we can do about that now....just a bit frustrating....we'll have to do the Boston trip a second time, for a second evaluation....and at least on the upside, we'll have another opinion;-).

Onto the next step....I'm very excited that we were given an appt. with the Chief of Orthopedics at Shriners Children's Hospital on Nov 4th...woo hoo!!! I've only heard really good things about them as well. It's about 2 and 1/2 hours from where we live, so it looks like Sophie and I will be staying in a hotel the night before as her appt is bright and early at 8:15 am.

In the end, we're hoping the three evaluations will be relatively similar as to the prognosis/treatment plan...and we can then make a decision as to with who, and where we feel most comfortable receiving Sophie's care from.

As always, God is good!!

Almost Wordless Wednesday....Monet Style

2009-10-07T07:34:00.001-04:00

What started as this....

Transitioned to this...

And then into this...

And Oh my, into this....

And finally THIS....

C'est magnifique, non????

Don't even ask about the clean up;-).

A few items, pictures, and something oh so sweet!

2009-10-04T17:42:00.010-04:00

Don't worry...this post will be shorter than the marathon post below;-)....just wanted to update you all on a few things...request prayers...and add a touching story...

1. The $20.00 hard drive did the trick!!! Yippee...I have my computer back!! We've been doing a full backup on an external hard drive regularly, but restoring things doesn't seem to be as easy as backing up....we're trying to figure out what is going on...*sigh*.... I only want three things....

a. PICTURES...Thank goodness I never erased my 700+ pictures from China.

b. Online charitable contribution tax receipts for the past three years that I NEVER printed out!!! Oh boy.

c. email addresses...

Keep your fingers crossed;-)!

2. John, Sophie and I go to Boston tomorrow to have Sophie's first leg evaluation...prayers would be much appreciated:-).

3. We celebrated the Mid autumn Festival for the first time last night in a combo American/Chinese style. The kids wanted pasta....so we made pasta with chicken in red sauce with a side of fresh green beans....ate with chopsticks and had an assortment of moon cakes for dessert:-) The flavors included yummy green tea, green bean paste, white lotus seed paste, and sweetened bean paste. The kids liked the sweetened bean paste the best. John and I enjoyed them all. We found some must have pink chopsticks for Sophie, and the boys chose the longer traditional style. Of course the most important ingredient of all...celebrating family togetherness!!

4. A sweet gift...

The other day Sophie came to me, grabbed my hand, and led me to the family room. She pointed at the family portrait hanging on the wall. We had this taken just about two years ago at the beginning of our adoption journey, which by the way, I JUST realized we started and finished (adoption day) exactly 2 years apart....8/10/07-8/10/09...how neat is that?!! Although, we have numerous pictures of Sophie around the house, she pointed at the family photo and said she wanted Sophie's picture in there too. Well, I about lost it right there! I said YES indeed....Sophie does need to be included, and I will be making an appt SOON to have a new family picture done.

As always....God is good!

Oh, what a difference a month can make!

2009-09-30T20:44:00.003-04:00

Where has the time gone???

Yes, we are alive and well....but still operating without my computer;-(. We haven't been able to bring ourselves to spend the money on a new one. John found a hard drive on ebay that he is hoping will fix our existing computer. $20.00 compared to a few hundred seems much easier to swallow right about now. We're waiting for it to arrive...keeping fingers crossed that it does the trick!! Anyhow, this marathon post has been in the making for quite a few days now...saving every few seconds, and having the computer black out on me mid sentence!!

On to more important things.....Miss Sophie. Where. to. start?? I feel so behind in updating everyone.....I still have posts I want to do from our trip to China, but I just don't seem to have the time....or energy....and obviously, the computer issue doesn't help matters. But honestly, when you look at what's really important to spend time on right now, not being sucked into the computer as I walk by the desk has actually been a blessing during this initial bonding time, though I've missed keeping closer tabs on all of you! It is one less distraction, and a big one at that, at least for me.

Sophie has been home for a little over a month, and has she come a long way, baby!! A day doesn't go by that I'm not totally amazed by her, how far she has come, and so taken back by the blessing we have been given. Glory be to God indeed!! It was a rough road in China, but I have to say, things have moved much smoother and faster than I ever expected since being home.

Here it goes...in random order...comparing one month ago to now....

Seeing this look the day after gotcha day.....

And now seeing this....

And this...

Though Sophie's understanding of English was definitely advanced when we got her, and she was able to say a few phrases in English like 'I have to go potty' ..Now, Sophie's vocabulary is literally exploding. She and I carry on quite the conversations during the day which include 8-10 word sentences! She is extemely smart and I know will master the English language in record time. On the funny side....she tends to put an 'a' on the ends of words right now. To listen to her, you'd think she was from Italy!!! For example...Sophie says something like this...."I'ma gonna goa to school? Are you-a gonna goa too?"

Some funny Sophie phrases....

"Whose-i-tha?" Said as one continuous word, which for the longest time I thought she was asking something in Chinese..LOL. I finally figured out she is saying "what is that?"

Humpty Dumpty is 'Humpy Dumpy sat ona wall'

She likes to chew on ice so when she says..."Can I please hava some ice"....it actually sounds like..."Can I please hava some as*?" We're working on this one and trying not to laugh, but the boys hear it EVERY TIME!!

Sophie is teaching us Chinese as well. The boys are picking up and remembering words quite quickly. John and I on the other hand...are a bit slower. I'm keeping a list of words spelled phonetically and their meanings. I do see that she is loosing some of her Chinese, which I feel sad about.

One month ago Sophie had never seen the ocean...and now Sophie is as much in love with the sea as we are. It's quite ironic given she's originally from Urumqi, the city that is known as geographically being the farthest in the world from the ocean. I've thoroughly enjoyed holding her hands as she jumps with pure joy over the waves. She loves sitting in the ocean as the bubbles from the broken waves wash over her, and she's even brave enough to have me hold her out farther and let the waves break over us. Our time at the ocean has been so special, and has given us some really special bonding time. Oh..I have to add...Sophie is a pro at spotting sea glass!!!!! We've enjoyed searching our favorite spots with Sophie now adding precious finds to our collection.

One month ago she was terrified of our two Labs, and now Sawyer and Finn have become two of her favorite playmates and favorite pillows!!

One month ago we had to work for a smile....now her contagious belly laugh and bright smile light up our house every day.

One month ago when Sophie made a mistake or didn't do something quite right she would look at us in a tentative nature..wondering how we would react. We would reply with a melodic 'uh-oh' or playful 'Silly Sophie", and now when something happens she easily laughs at herself and says, 'Oh, silly Sophie:-)'.

One month ago, When John went back to work and the boys went to school, Sophie had to be in the room I was in. Even if I said to her..."Mommy is just going to the kitchen for X, I'll be right back"....she would want to come with me. When I had to go to the bathroom...she would come with me and wait right outside the door. (This all is TOTALLY understandable and so welcomed given what she has gone through) but now it's nice to see her comfort level has obviously increased, as she will go into other rooms to play for short periods, and is starting to trust that if I say "I'm just going downstairs to put wash into the dryer...I'll be right back up"...she continues to play, and trusts I will return. Icing on the cake...when I do return, I am greeted with a huge smile.

Can't think of a then and now for this....only that I have to say Nathan and Owen have been fantastic! They love Sophie like she has always been their sister. Sophie is pretty fond of them as well;-).

Keeping it real...One month ago while in China and during the first part of being home we were dealing with some MAJOR tantrums. These were like nothing I've ever experienced as far as the intensity and duration. I'll tell you....the tears that come out of this child's eyes could easily fill a glass!! Now, thankfully the tantrums have diminished greatly and what initially seemed like a daily occurrence has me pondering right now when she actually had her last one?? Now when Sophie doesn't get her way, or can't have something she may want she is much more willing to listen and is more accepting of our answer. If crying does occur, it's in the what I at least consider 'normal' for a child her age...although I've heard girls are MUCH more dramatic in general...so it may have just been my inexperience with the XX tantrum style;-).

Oh, I have to add...NO ONE...I mean NO ONE can pout like this girl. See below..

She deserves an A++ for technique....I have never seen a child able to protrude her bottom lip as far as Sophie can. Add large crocodile tears flowing down those beautiful brown eyes and OH MY!!! One time she was pouting about something, and was on the verge of crying when I broke out the cherrios and bet her she couldn't balance and stack cherrios on her lip. She quickly accepted my challenge (pout and tantrum avoided!!!) and I think we made it to 4!! Now, when she starts to pout all I have to do is mention cherrios and she just starts to giggle:-)......

One month ago, she absolutely loved being read to....as long as it was Baba doing it. Now, Sophie and I spend time everyday cuddled reading together. She absolutely loves our town library and all the books she can borrow!! She's like a kid in a candy shop! At night, I have become 'the chosen one...ah hemm' to read to her before Miss Sophie retires.

A little over one month ago, Sophie slept in a crib with two other children in the room.....now Sophie continues to enjoy her big girl bed (she actually insisted I take the guard rails off the other day...which I did...she's doing great) and is still very comfortable sleeping in her own room, alone, through the night, and waking with a huge smile.

One month ago, Sophie was wary and very quiet around new adults. Now....not much change. I guess this is a good thing as indiscriminately feeling as comfortable with strangers as family may be a warning sign. The positive...she definitely warms up after seeing someone a few times, and the vibrant Sophie shines through.

Just one month ago her language was Chinese (well, of course it was!!) We went to our friend's house for a special dinner last Friday night. Brenda is originally from Hong Kong and we were treated to some delicious homemade Chinese cooking. I thought having someone that spoke Chinese would be exciting for Sophie. Turned out....not so much. It was their first time meeting Sophie and we were all very surprised Sophie did not respond to her when she spoke to her in mandarin. Not once....wouldn't even break a smile until it was time to go as she waved and said an enthusiastic...'bye-bye'. I'm sure there must have been some worry going on in her head....the last time we were with someone Chinese, she had to go through some major trauma. Despite our reassurance....she chose to remain silent, but had a great time being the only girl in a group of 5 boys that evening. Man, can she hold her own!!

Again, keeping it real....One month ago in China...I faced total rejection from the daughter I had longed for for so long, dealing with major jet lag, and missing my boys terribly...doubt crept into my mind. I was wondering and sobbing to John late at night while Sophie slept that I may have made the biggest mistake....maybe this wasn't His plan after all. I didn't know if I could handle all this, and I felt like all this turmoil would be forever. I remember profusely apologizing to John that I had totally screwed up our content, happy lives by going down this road. John, bless his heart, met me where I was and gently reminded me all that He had shown us leading up to this....it WAS His plan...we needed to trust. John reminded me, although I was the impetus behind this adoption...we walked down this road together. John reminded me that it all made perfect sense to him, and I had to do my best to not take the rejection personally...to Sophie a Baba was simply new and additive. She didn't have to give up something, or trust only once again, in order to let him in. When you look at it, especially at this young age a mother is so important, but for Sophie, mamas haven't served her very well. Why would she quickly trust her heart to another. On top of everything.....I was the one that took her from her mama. It all made sense logically, but one month ago my heart was simply broken.

Now, I SEE and am AMAZED at how far Sophie has come. When I think of all she has been through, I can only attribute it to the grace of God. Oh yes, What a difference a month home can make!!

NOW....Sophie genuinely smiles at me and I can see love in her eyes.

Now she runs up to me and says...'holda me' with her arms outstretched and wraps them tightly around me when I pick her up. I can literally feel her joy.

One month ago, Sophie tolerated me at best....now we genuinely enjoy being together.

One month ago, Sophie wanted to do everything herself. She didn't want me to dress her, bathe her, even do her hair. Now I find she waits for me to dress and picks out colors similar to mine...although pink (her favorite color now) tends to occur at least somewhere:-). When I ask how she wants her hair, she excitedly says..."one (ponytail) because that's how YOU wear your hair."

One month ago, my repeated attempts at any form of affection was rebuked. Now I can see Sophie craves my love and affection.

One month ago, my statement of 'I love you' was ignored. Now, my I love yous are genuinely returned with hers.

Upon returning home a little over one month ago, I felt like I was watching someone else's child. Now I spend my day with my vibrant, beautiful DAUGHTER. My breath is taken away in moments as she smiles, laughs, pouts, as I watch her play, listen to her sing, or gaze at her as she peacefully sleeps.....all while thanking God above, over and over, for His immeasurable blessing.

He has given me so much more than I could have ever imagined....

Yes, my cup runs over...

He splashed orange in the sunrise
and cast the sky in blue
And if you love to see geese as they gather,
chances are you'll see that too.
Did He have to make the squirrel's tail furry?
Was he obliged to make the birds sing?
And the funny way that chickens scurry
or the majesty of thunder when it rings?
Why give a flower a fragrance?
Why give food its taste?
Could it be
He loves to see
That look upon your face?

Max`Lucado

As always, God is good!

Sophie Update

2009-09-09T08:19:00.002-04:00

It's been over a week since the boys have been back to school, and the mommy-Sophie 'alone time' has done WONDERS for our relationship!!! PTL! Sophie and I have really grown quite close, and I couldn't be happier or more thankful. We've come such a long way since China!! We've had glorious weather here this past week and have spent alot of time out doors at the beach, hiking, and at playgrounds, plus some quiet time at home reading....which Sophie seems to really enjoy. She has become my sidekick during the day. She loves to help out and be involved in whatever I'm doing and is great company. Sophie continues to amaze me as to how well she is adjusting to her new life. Glory be to God! Each day, I learn more and more about her and I'm constantly reminded of how we have been truly blessed with a daughter that is inherently happy, resilient, smart, confident and strong willed. Her smile, laugh and sense of humor simply light up a room!

Another milestone that has happened way before I thought it would....last night Sophie slept in her own room all by herself!! When we returned from China, we started her off in the boys room, then transitioned to her room in her big girl bed (which she LOVES) and one of the boys slept on a mattress on the floor. Yesterday, Sophie and I were talking about her having her room all to herself and that eventually the boys would sleep in their room. She seemed fine with the idea, as I assured her we could hear her if she needed us. All our bedrooms are very close together, which is a plus. Since she seemed open to what I was saying, I asked if she wanted to try and sleep in her room by herself tonight, and to my amazement, she said yes. Soooo, last night we went through the bedtime routine, and stayed with her until she fell asleep....that was it! She even woke to go potty around 3am and went right back in...no problem. Sophie woke this morning with a huge smile.

All in all, life is good....and of course, God is good!!!!

Still don't have a new computer, which in a sense has been nice....no distractions. I'm checking email and working on an old laptop that indiscriminately turns off as it overheats. Sometimes I have 5 minutes, sometimes 10...the max seems to be 20....never know:-), LOL!!! I'm really pushing it with this post!!! Hopefully we'll bite the bullet, and buy a new one this weekend.

Hope everyone is doing well.....love to you all!

RIP computer

2009-08-31T08:52:00.002-04:00

Well, our computer crashed and burned the other day:-(. Just what we need to do at this point....spend more $$$$$$:-(!!!! Until we get a new one, I will have limited access to a computer. I can access emails, but I don't have access to old emails sent prior to Friday, or my address book, so if I haven't responded to an email you may have sent....please forgive me. If you email me again now, I will be able to respond. Thank goodness we backed up our old computer so I can just restore things on the new one...never had to do this, so I hope it goes smoothly. If I haven't visited your blog lately, please stay with me...I WILL get there!!

Love you all!!! God is good!

Sophie and the Sea

2009-08-26T20:02:00.003-04:00

Fair warning....**Tissue Alert...especially with the music playing;-).

Sophie experienced the ocean today.

John quit work early so we could go together as a family for the first time.

Sophie wanted to walk from the car to the beach holding John's AND my hand...oh, be still my heart. (I won't mention the small fit she threw as I carried her back to the car instead of John when it was time to go....LOL...but that's OK;-)

Despite the copious amounts of seaweed...courtesy of Hurricane Bill, it was wonderful.
Although Sophie stayed clear of that icky brown stuff (don't blame her one bit), she seemed to really enjoy herself...we all did.

God bless the people here in the USA....there were very few stares, and of those that watched Sophie maneuver in the sand like a pro, it was with admiration and a warm smile....quite the opposite of what we received in China, unfortunately.

Without further to do....

God is good!

Sophie Turns 4!!!!

2009-08-25T20:13:00.003-04:00

As promised, here are some birthday pictures of Miss Sophie:-). I really think she had a great day, and we were so thankful we were able to celebrate with her HOME, PTL! The day was very special, to say the least.

It's apparent from the pics I did a store bought cake.....I just couldn't manage baking while still suffering from jet lag and with me just starting to feel better from the GI bug I got on the trip home.....BUT with that said...Sophie didn't seem to mind one-bit. She was pretty happy with the pink flowers we promised her, and the cake was actually quite tasty.

Some dear friends stopped over to give Sophie a present, and with it, they gave her one of those cards that plays music/sings when you open it. Well, that was a huge hit....thanks Shay!!!! Sophie went around all day (and the next:-), opening and closing the card listening to 'Happy Birthday to You'. Though my focus was off on the cake photos, I'm so happy I captured her joy over the card.....it was priceless!!

I also wanted to let you all know, our mother-daughter relationship seems to be moving in a positive direction. Thank you all SO MUCH for your prayers, and your candor in your comments. Your support and honesty has really helped me feel not so alone, and has given me the strength necessary to not take the anger and rejection personally. Sophie is now smiling and talking with me so much more.....she actually WANTS me to do her hair in the mornings, doesn't fight when I need to hold her hand or pick her up, and we've even had a few really good 'giggle sessions' as I call them. Though Sophie hasn't given me a heartfelt hug yet on her own, I can see the change in her eyes and in her smile, and I'm thanking God for each little step forward as the blessings they are.

As always...God is good!

My 3 kiddos!!

2009-08-22T11:46:00.002-04:00

It feels like we're still in Guangzhou...weather wise, that is:-)!! It's been very hot and humid here and we've all been enjoying the pool...especially the kids.

Sophie is in love with her brothers and visa-versa...these pictures speak volumes, and I couldn't wait to share!

Sophie is doing amazingly well in such a short time adjusting to her new life and new home. She is an individual who has a very strong personality, spirit and equally as strong will. She is definitely a survivor!

As far as our mother-daughter relationship.....well, we're making small strides, and I'm thankful for those. Sophie makes it very clear she feels she doesn't need another mother, and/or doesn't want to accept me in that role yet. I'm not pushing things....just being available, and trying to show her I love her despite her not wanting me. I want her to realize I'm not going anywhere...and that's just going to take time. I think her seeing the boys love and come to me has helped tremendously. I know deep in my heart it will work out in the end....I just need to have patience. Sophie will be forced to deal with being just with me when the boys go back to school in a week. This will be another transition for her, and the one she's fighting the most. In all honesty...it gets very difficult emotionally for me handling the rejection, especially towards the end of the day, when I'm still dealing with jet lag. I remind myself it's not personal, and putting myself in her shoes, I would be doing exactly the same thing. She had close bonds to her nannies at New Day...THEY were her mamas...and in her mind they gave her away...and/or I took her from them. Why should she trust another woman so quickly?? Men right now are much safer bet.

Sophie's 4th birthday is Monday, and prayers have been answered that she's home to celebrate with us!! We're going to celebrate it tomorrow since John has to do an overnight for business on Monday, that can't be postponed. I pray it's a happy day for her....will post pictures ASAP.

As always, God is good!

We're home!!

2009-08-20T08:16:00.002-04:00

We got home last night and boy, was Sophie a trooper on the long flights.

It felt so good to hug my boys, and I have to say, there's NOTHING like being back in the USA...especially with it's newest citizen!!

Almost instantaneously, the dynamic between Sophie and I changed....somehow I 'appeared' in her eyes...don't know if I'm truly 'mommy' to her yet, but I'll take what I can get, and have to say I couldn't have hoped for an easier transition home. We'll see how things continue. John has stepped into the background (mostly out of necessity to catch up on work, and she's been doing fine with her new home, ge ge's (brothers) all the new things for her to play with.

She is afraid of our two labs...so we're working on that. I make sure I'm the one who holds her when necessary and she's not pushing me away.

Nathan and Owen are IN LOVE with their new sister and are really doting on her...I'll enjoy that while it lasts before they settle into being true siblings;-).

I'll post pictures later.... just wanted to give everyone a heads up on how things have been going.

God is good!

Love you all!!!

Leaving GZ....onto Hong Kong!

2009-08-18T06:47:00.001-04:00

We're in the home stretch....taking 'the oath' today at 4:00, then we board a train for Hong Kong.....then on Wed morning we FINALLY fly home....yippeee!!!!

Thanks so much to all of you for your kind words, prayers and support. They have really sustained me. Don't know what I would do without you all!!! There are many parents here dealing with much more serious issues than we are...total detachment, not bonding to either parent an inconsolability.

I know in my heart Sophie will warm up to me more....it will just take patience, love and time. I am giving it to Him.....

God has brought us this far, and I KNOW He will not abandon us now.

Tanya sent me a scripture that has truly strengthened my heart and I know is true....

Isaiah 41:10 (NLT) ~ "Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand."

God is good!!

A New Day- Urumqi

2009-08-17T06:31:00.004-04:00

(Tami sent two posts today, so don't miss the post before this!)

Day 2

Sophie woke with no tears, but was still not sure about us and her new surroundings….understandably so.

We decided the best way to handle things with Sophie’s transition was to do it in baby steps. After playing a bit with some of her new things, painting fingernails and shaving daddy’s beard (Sophie definitely doesn’t like kisses with stubble). We would work on changing her dress and socks. We let her pick out what she would wear and with only a few tears she changed, and we started our day.

Much to our relief, Sophie finally ate at the hotel’s buffet breakfast, and then we took in some sites around the city and went to a nearby children’s park.

REWIND: Forever Family Day (August 10, 2009)

2009-08-17T06:27:00.001-04:00

On Monday, Sophie’s life changed…she became part of her forever family…our family. Although it was a highly anticipated day for us, for Sophie, her world was torn apart. In the 3 years she has spent on this earth, this was the 3rd time she was forced to leave her security.. Although we spent time with her at New Day, and we weren’t total strangers, she did NOT want this by any means.

We showed up at about 10:00am at the Civil Affairs office. Shortly after we arrived, Lillian, her nanny from New Day, escorted her in. As soon as I saw her face, I knew this was not going to go well. Sophie wanted nothing to do with us. As Lillian tried to leave, Sophie clung to her with a death grip and started to sob. After a few minutes of seeing things escalate, the orphanage director decided to let Lillian stay with her for a bit longer as Sophie needed her passport picture taken and we needed a family picture for our adoption certificate. Sophie calmed down a bit once she knew Lillian wasn’t going to go just yet, but she knew what was ultimately going to happen. We drove down the city street to the photo place, and between sobs, her passport photo was taken. Then it was time for a family photo. Both John and I looked at each other in total disbelief as to how this process was going. She sat in our lap as instructed, but the picture was one where John and I had a forced smile and Sophie’s discontent and terror was apparent. After the photos were taken, it was time to return to the CA office. What happened next left me both furiously angry and shocked. They had ME take Sophie from Lillian’s arms RIGHT IN THE BUSY STREETS OF URUMQI!! I will never forget the screams that came from her small body as she called for her mama….obviously, not me, and the stares of the people passing by. To make things worse, the driver was no-where-to-be-found. John, I, and our guide, were standing on the sidewalk of Urumqi with a child that was just ripped from the arms of the woman she considered her mother, screaming at the top of her lungs for her mama. I think you get the not-so-pretty picture. Finally the driver arrived after what seemed to be an eternity, and we were driven back to the civil affairs office. Inside were two other families who had received their children and everyone was all smiles. This was not an experience to be ours. The guide and orphanage director talked with Sophie and her sobs began to subside a bit. She obediently sat in my lap for the rest of the day as instructed, but despite my numerous tries, she wanted nothing to eat, nothing to play with, and everything I tried was met with dismissal. We completed the whole adoption in one day, which meant it was a FULL day of emotions for her. She was exhausted. We were exhausted. I couldn’t wait until we could get her back to the hotel, and be just the 3 of us. When the time FINALLY came, the sobs started again as our guide left. We were all totally spent. Sophie stopped crying after being in the hotel room for a bit, but the chest heaves continued and her eyes were so puffy she could barely keep them open. My heart was totally broken for her. I think we got her to drink some milk, but that was about it. She wanted nothing to do with taking off her clothes, shoes, brace, etc…..she literally clung to everything she could from her previous life. John and I were finally able to coax her up into bed and she slowly fell asleep wearing everything she arrived in, and clutching the baby doll she came with. Literally, John and I had no words. After such a long wait, we had our daughter….but we couldn’t enjoy it…we could do nothing to comfort her. Sleep was her only respite.

I was so happy we had the time we did at New Day…meeting her on her turf, in such a positive fashion.

I fell asleep praying for Sophie’s heart and wondering what tomorrow would bring….

Finally in GZ!!!!!!

2009-08-16T06:50:00.001-04:00

There's so much to say about our last week in Urumqi, and we are SO HAPPY to finally be in GZ and 'connected to the outside world' again!!! We enjyed our time in Xinjiang... had a great guide, thank goodness.. the food was very unique with all the different ethnic cultures there, and we were able to do some sightseeing...but you could tell this province gets very few tourists, and to say that 2 Americans with a Chinese child, with an obvious deformity to boot was quite a sight for the locals, to say the least!! Very few people there spoke any English, and the tensions in the region are still visibly present. Guangzhou feels like a slice of heaven to us right now!!

The transition for Sophie was hard, especially the first few days.. But with that said..looking back it's amazing how far she has come. She was really mourning the loss of the close relationships she made at ND...but she's doing great now. Sophie has bonded with both of us...but she's 'daddy's girl' right now, as he is her choice most of the time, especially out in public. My psych 101 analysis is in her mind, maybe she doesn't have to replace anyone by bonding with him. With me....she's giving up her bonds/loyalties to her nannies at ND. Don't know......maybe he's just simply more fun and he is what she needs right now. Don't get me wrong...she does come to me and we do connect, but I have to say I'm a bit nervous about what things will be like once we get home and daddy has to go to work and he's out of the picture for the day....I guess we'll deal with that when we get home. I hope I'm worrying over nothing and it might not even be an issue....any suggestions/ experiences....please pass them on.

Sophie has quite the personality, and quite the sense of humor...and we can tell we'll have our hands full with this one!! She is a very resilient, happy child who's joy over having a mama and baba is very apparent, praise the Lord. She doesn't let her leg slow her down ONE BIT!!! Sophie is so smart, and people can't get over how much English she understands and can speak. She's like a little echo when we talk...just repeats everything word for word:-)...she's even teaching US some Chinese words.

We've been able to skype with the boys finally, and that has done my heart so much good!!! We are counting the days till we can come home. I'll try and post more photos (having trouble with uploading to flickr here as well) and recount our time in Urumqi...so much to say....and show...but it may have to wait till I get home.

Thanks for all your prayers.....God is good!!!

The Great Wall~Mutianyuguan

2009-08-08T20:53:00.000-04:00

We did it!! We made it to the top! Man, were my legs were shaking and with 100% humidity it was no easy feat.

Getting to the Wall was an adventure in itself. It took over 2 hours from where we are to this particular section of the Geat Wall...but it's supposed to be one of the most beautiful lush spots. About half way there a huge storm hit and there was about 2 feet of water all over the highways! Cars, bikes rickshaws were all over the place! The amount of rain that fell lifted manhole covers off and it looked like you had mini fountains in the middle of the streets of Beijing. (glad we were in the car and not in that water!)

Once we made it to the wall it started to clear, but we didn't have a sunny day by any means. I do however think the hazy clouds give the wall a neat appearance, and after doing the trek, I was so happy it wasn't clear and sunny...it would have been brutal. I couldn't imagine how steep some parts were. We were able to ride a chair lift up to the starting point and once you made it back you had the option of taking the chairlift down or a toboggan down a metal shute...we opted for the toboggan and WOW...that was seriously fun!!

Oh, the bug in the slide show is a cicada...I couldn't get over the size...and noise! The body on that thing was a good 3 inches long! Owen and Nate...I knew you would love it:-).

This will more than likely be my last post for a while. We leave this afternoon for Xinjiang. I pray everything goes well. Monday, Aug 10th will be our forever family day:-).!

As always, God is good!!

Sophie- Day 2

2009-08-07T21:14:00.001-04:00

Today we were able spend the whole day with Miss Sophie, and the other kiddos. We had a great time, but were totally exhausted by the end of the day!! We are still trying to adjust to the time difference and can't seem to stay up past 7:00pm! We literally fall into bed, then wake at 10:30pm, thinking it's been most of the night...fall back to sleep and start our day at 3:00am. Good time for blogging I guess, and we've also been able to skpe with the boys twice during these early hours! Speaking of blogging...I haven't been able to access my blog since I got to China, and I'm so thankful to Jenna for posting for me!!

As for Sophie....what can I say...we are totally in love with this child!!! She is warming up to us more and more, and she loves taking our hands to guide us to where she wants to go. I can't say if she has a preference for either one of us yet...she seems to divide her attention pretty equally. We'll see what happens when she's with just the two of us after the adoption. Sophie is VERY smart, very observant, and loves to do things on her own when possible. When she talks she literally lights up a room with her strong, animated, articulate voice. She is very good at sharing...always offering her food to us to share...even candy!!!! I was literally brought to tears when I saw her physical therapy session and what this child can do. She does exercises to build her balance and strengthen in her left leg. She goes about her session with such focus and determination and never complains. The love and support here is so obvious and this child has truly been instilled with a 'can do' attitude!

Today John and I are going to see the Great Wall and spend time with Sophie in the afternoon. We had asked if she could come with us, but it was determined it might be a bit too much for her. I have to say I agree given Sunday will be a big day for her. One of her nannies will accompany her on the plane (same flight as us:-) to her province and will stay with her until the adoption on Monday...PTL!! Again, once we leave Beijing as far as I know Internet has not been restored in the province, and I won't have access to email. There will unfortunately be a lag in posting. Please keep Sophie's heart in your prayers for what will be a difficult transition for her...she is leaving people who have deeply loved her and have given her such fine care. They are preparing her well...but one can prepare a 3 year old child only so much for what is about to come.

Here are some more pics from the day....

Meeting Sophie...FINALLY!

2009-08-06T20:01:00.001-04:00

Well, we made it and actually met Sophie about a half hour after arriving at New Day!! What a whirlwind!! It was surreal to say the least, especially after being up for about 48 hours. Our adrenaline kicked in and I can't even begin to describe what it was like to see my daughter LIVE!!!! Finally...PTL! She was a bit hesitant at first (very typical), but quickly warmed up. The love and support she receives here is so very apparent. Everyone at New Day really helped with the transition. She is such a sweet child...I am sooooo looking forward to getting to know her more.

Today we will get to spend the whole day with her, seeing what a typical day is like, learning about her therapy, asking her caregivers questions and getting to know her a bit more on her turf:-) which will undoubtedly help with the transition.

Since I was up at 3:00am this morning, we were able to Skype with the boys and fill them in on all of yesterdays exciting details:-).

Here are some photos of our first meeting for you to look though....

Love you all!!! God is good!!!

Last post before we leave!

2009-08-04T21:40:00.002-04:00

Can you believe we are finally leaving in the morning to bring our daughter home!!??

"The One who calls you is faithful. He will make it happen."
~I.Thessalonians 5:24

I wanted to mention that while we are in Sophie's province we will NOT be able to blog as Internet has still has not been restored yet....that will be Aug 9th-Aug 14th. I hope to blog before and catch up once in GZ. Maybe we'll be surprised and Internet service will be restored....we'll have to hope for the best.

Please keep us in prayer during the trip, and our boys at home....they really had a hard time going to bed tonight, and I have to say, my heart is heavy as well, missing them already.

I wanted to close with another scripture that was sent to me by an individual who visited New Day and advocated for Sophie's paperwork to be made ready for adoption. This individual had hoped to adopt Sophie, but realized God had chosen her for another. A few days after she found out Sophie was matched with us, God showed her the face of a little girl, the one He chose especially for her. Praise the Lord! We have become friends and will forever be joined in this blessed journey. She sent me a scripture she had prayed over Sophie for some time. As many of you know Sophie's Chinese name means 'Siberian Elm tree'. With my name being Russian for 'Palm tree' this was the strongest confirmation that of His plan that kept me going as we searched and waited for her file to appear. I KNEW the similarities in our names was more than just a coincidence and it provided me so much strength. When I read this scripture, I was overcome with emotion and gratitude...

Job 14: 7
"At least there is hope for a tree: (her name…”elm tree”)
If it is cut down, it will sprout again, (She was once abandoned…has been found and brought to a new life)
and its new shoots will not fail. (She will not be abandoned again!!!)

We're coming Sophie......God is good!!!

Countdown!!!

2009-07-28T18:20:00.002-04:00

8 Days.....

Yes, it's confirmed....we are leaving on Aug 5th:-). WOW!

Lots to do...

I don't think I've ever been SO excited AND nervous at the same time...

Please continue to pray for Sophie's heart, our health, and for His plan to unfold without further delay.

Oh, my....this is REALLY going to happen:-).

God is good.

China...Take 2!!!!

2009-07-24T10:55:00.002-04:00

Sophie's province has re-opened!!!!!!!! The mountains are dissolving under His mighty hand!!!! Praise the Lord!!!!!!!

We are making arrangements right now to hopefully leave on Aug 5th!!!!!!!!!!

I am SOOOO excited....can you tell with all the "!!!" ????

Looks like Miss Sophie will be home for her 4th birthday:-)!!!!!

Will keep you all posted once everything is confirmed....

Oh yes....God IS good!!! All the glory is His!!!

Introducing...Miss Emmaline Skye

2009-07-23T20:29:00.003-04:00

She arrived today, and I simply cannot wait to give her to Sophie!!

She’s one of a kind, and created by a fellow adoptive mama, Daleea. This is the first of her ‘For Isabella' doll line she is creating to help raise funds to bring her Isabella home from China. Emmaline even came with a beautiful adoption certificate that was custom made with Sophie in mind. When I read the story behind this doll, I just knew she was for Sophie…

Emmaline Skye is a sweet, soft spoken girl.... She is a little shy but once she becomes your friend, forever loyal she shall be. Yes, she is a little timid because she is the only one she knows that has hair the color of the sky.... She was born in a far away land where the color of her lovely hair is quite common... but not so much here. Sometimes people say things about her before they think.... things that if they really thought about it they would realize that it is just plain silly and that it could be hurtful. Sometimes it is difficult being different.... But she knows that she is special.... she is just as she was designed to be... and what a boring world it would be if we were all the same.
Oh, how she longs for a special little friend to call her own.... someone to giggle with, be a ballerina with. Someone to catch lightening bugs with on a warm summer evening.... and someone to sing praises to Jesus with.... She loves to sing to her Jesus. In fact.... if you close your eyes, and listen closely you may be able to hear her sing her favorite song to her God.... "Jesus Loves the Little Children"......
Won't you sing with her.... Some things you might want to know about her.....
Her favorite flower is the oh, so beautiful Blue Hydrangea.
Her favorite jewel is aSky BlueTopaz
Her favorite color is...... you guessed it! BLUE!
Her favorite actress is Shirley Temple.
Her favorite food is Chicken Cordon Bleu, and Blueberry Cobbler a la mode for dessert.
She loves to play Hopscotch and is really quite good.
She enjoys Reading,Coloring, and Embroidery for quiet times.

I have to tell you, honestly, the picture doesn’t even start to do this doll justice. The amount thought, and love that went into making Miss Emmaline Skye is so obvious, and I am simply captivated by the attention to detail...from the intricate stitching in her face, right down to the weaved ribbon in her socks. This doll is so unbelievably huggable!!

I think every little girl deserves a special friend like this, but I think a doll of this nature would be especially loved by a child with an obvious physical difference, or SN. I knew Miss Emmaline would be someone Sophie can talk to…someone she KNOWS understands what it’s like to be ‘different’, someone to help her feel not so alone.

If you would like to be notified via email for each new doll Daleea lists,you can sign up on Daleea's blog to be notified by email.

Daleea, thank you so much for creating this precious friend for Sophie…I know she will love her for years to come!

God is good!!!

Dissolving Mountains

2009-07-20T19:09:00.004-04:00

Checked with our agency today. The provincial government office is still not open for adoptions. Sooooo we wait and continue to pray....

God, you are so faithful and good, and have blessed us with so much on this journey to Sophie. As you know, my heart aches to be with my daughter, but I fully trust in your perfect timing. Though there have been many mountains hindering us from bringing Sophie home, You are my shield and my fortress. I take comfort in Isaiah 43:2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. (Thank you Molly). Lord, I carry your peace and strength in my heart, believing through You, this adoption WILL be completed, for it is written in Psalm 33:11 the Lord’s plans stand firm forever; his intentions can never be shaken, and you reminded us in Isaiah 49:25...I'm the one who's on your side, defending your cause, rescuing your children. (Thank you Amy). My hope is firmly in You!

James 5:16-18 …The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results. Elijah was as human as we are, and yet when he prayed earnestly that no rain would fall, none fell for the next three and a half years! Then he prayed for rain, and down it poured. The grass turned green, and the crops began to grow again.

Father, with your mighty hand, please DISSOLVE the mountains that are hindering our adoption of Sophie, and may ALL the glory be yours! (thank you dear Tanya!)

In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.

And Lily, thank you! You stated it so well in your comment when you said, "I also believe that we comfort others with what God has used to comfort us."

YES!!!!!

It's wonderful when we all lift each other up through Him!!

When I hear that by sharing the story of our journey to Sophie, it has blessed someone by giving them hope, or maybe gets someone to SEE even just a small part of our story as something MORE than just a coincidence, I am so humbled and thankful to God for using me...it's a gift in return. Connecting with so many of you has been an immeasurable blessing! I don't believe our paths cross by happenstance. I feel your prayers daily. YOUR stories, faith, friendships (old and new), kind words of support, pearls of wisdom, and healing humor when I need it most, mean so very much!!

When we FINALLY get to meet sweet Sophie, it will truly be glorious! In that moment, you ALL will be with us, and forever etched into this miraculous journey of love.

As always, God is good!!

Hugs and Kisses

2009-07-14T09:01:00.003-04:00

Last night was Sophie night. It was good AND difficult at the same time. Good in the sense that with each conversation I am blessed to learn a little more about my sweet Sophie, and connect with her in what has to be the seemingly quickest half hour of my week. I love to watch her many expressions on the computer screen and to hear her sweet voice as she sings her favorite songs. Sophie has a quiet tenderness about her that is simply breathtaking and in the very next moment she’ll make a silly face, or become so animated as she speaks, that I find myself totally captivated. I hang on her every word and movement. My heart gets so full during these exchanges, that I find I forget there is a screen between us.

Unfortunately, John was away on business tonight, so he wasn’t able to see her this week. Sophie firmly asked to see and talk with her baba, and was visibly disappointed when she couldn't. With it being summer vacation, Nathan and Owen are staying up later and they really enjoy getting to know their little sister. They each take turns talking with her saying, ‘ni hao mei mei, wo ai ni’ (hello little sister, I love you) and Sophie returns with ‘ni hao gege (big brother), wo ai ni’. My mom and dad are here for a visit again, so Sophie was able to talk with her grandparents as well. Oh, she definitely has them totally smitten with their first grand daughter:-).

Sophie was in a very loving mood tonight. She kept wanting to give hugs and kisses through the camera. It was precious to see her hold out her arms for a hug and pucker her lips toward the camera. My mom had a hard time with this conversation, as you could visibly see how much Sophie yearns for real hugs and kisses from her forever family. Sophie kept saying to my mom, “I want you to come closer, closer…”, as she tried to kiss and hug the camera. My mom had to eventually turn away because she couldn’t hold back the tears any more. If you could have seen Sophie’s face as she looked at my mom, deep into the camera, it was as if she truly believed that if she could get close enough she could feel the warm kiss and embrace of her grandmother through the screen. Her innocence and hope was so powerful, and the unfairness of having to settle for a hug and kiss through a computer screen, became emotionally overwhelming for us all. (As I write this, I quickly remember how much more we are given than most adoptive parents, and I do feel guilty for what I am feeling. Please endulge and forgive me, I just want to be honest with my feelings at this point).

I am reminded of the resilience these children have that I can only attribute to His grace as He protects their tender hearts as they wait for their families. Tonight, I truly saw my daughter’s heart. I think of all that my dear child has been through in her short time on earth, and I’m honestly left wondering how she has not only survived emotionally, but how she has retained the abundant and genuine love she has in her heart. Of course, I am forever indebted to New Day for the care and love Sophie has received since being there, and the positive difference they have made in her life. Although it brings a degree of peace to my heart in knowing she is receiving many hugs and kisses, the unmistakable truth is that NOTHING takes the place of a forever family for these children. I see how ready Sophie is for her family, for us. I see how she accepts the extended wait with acceptance and strength beyond her years, despite the unfairness of it all. Though I fully trust in His timing, and His plan, my heart still aches beyond words to hold her already. The light at the end of the tunnel that we were so close to now seems so far away. Sophie stated again to me that she wanted me to come NOW, and I watched my daughter listen intently to my answer…an answer that I had to literally force through my mouth as I choked back the tears that tried to claim my words.

I promised Sophie we WILL come for you. We’re coming as fast as we can, as soon as we are allowed. We will get on a plane to come get you and then you will get as many hugs and kisses from us as you want ….for REAL….FOREVER. We are your family now, always, even though we are apart. I know it’s hard to wait. It’s hard for us too, but until mama and baba come; please know we think of you every day. We carry you in our hearts and we love you so very much.

Please pray for resolution and peace in her province, so that the many children that wait can be united with their families.

For a brief moment toward the end of the conversation, Sophie turned her head away from the camera. The light hit the side of her beautiful face, and I caught a glimpse of a single tear that hung in the corner of her eye, desperately trying to not run down her cheek. It was as if it wanted to be missed; to not draw attention as to what might be silently going on deep inside her at that moment.

It was time to go.

It was time to for Sophie to join her preschool class, and begin her day....thankfully, filled with activity and blessed with love from caring people to help her endure the wait.

Sophie bravely waved goodbye, blew us kisses and walked away from the computer screen and into her day.

Until we meet, sweet child…remember…God is there, and through all this, He loves you, and always, He is good.

Water Babies!

2009-07-09T09:08:00.002-04:00

I really needed to laugh this morning, and this fit the bill!!!! (Stop the music at the bottom of my side bar to get the full effect).

Makes me want to buy some:-).

RIOTS??!!!!

2009-07-06T07:21:00.003-04:00

I awoke this morning to an email from Victoria's mom, Kim alerting me to what has just occurred in Sophie's province. This article was posted on a great travel blog that I follow, which is written by an American who has been living and working in Xinjiang for the past 3 years....

Monday, July 06, 2009
Xinjiang Crippled by Urumqi Riots; Curfew Set
On Sunday, July 5th at around 9:30pm Beijing time, a riot began which has crippled Urumqi, the capital of China's Xinjiang province. As with any such event here in China, reports are sketchy and numbers vary drastically. Misleading photos and estimations are already circulating all over the web. Reliable details won't be available for at least another 24 hours, but here is a list of what can be confirmed:

Many Uyghurs have taken to the streets of Urumqi, overturning vehicles and breaking store windows.
Deaths have occurred (reports of three as of this writing, but not confirmed)
A curfew has been set for all residents of Urumqi (official government-issued announcement)
Most videos and pictures about this riot are being blocked in the mainland as soon as they appear on the internet.
What is not clearly known at this time is the reason for the riots. Most people speculate that it has something to do with the incident in Shaoguan in which a toy factory brawl left 2 Uyghurs dead and many more injured. Blame for the Urumqi riot will most likely land on the shoulders of Rabiya Kadeer, one of the most prominent Uyghur leaders who had called for the Uyghurs to protest this incident.

If you are planning on traveling to Xinjiang anytime this week it might be wise to reconsider your plans. Security will definitely be tight and police on high alert at this time.

An update will be made once further information is gathered, but until then you can read more here:
The New Dominion: Riots in Urumqi - Videos
ESWN - The Urumqi Mass Incident (New Roundup)
Reuters - Riot Strikes China's Xinjiang Region Capital

We would have landed in Urumuqi on July 5th with the adoption scheduled for July 6th......major chills here!!!!!

This is further confirmation that our travel delay was truly part of His plan, and for our benefit....as always....

GOD IS GOOD!!!!

A Treasured Present

2009-06-30T09:46:00.002-04:00

THIS is what I woke up to this morning....

As I said yesterday, His timing is always perfect!! I was able to see and talk with Sophie last night...what a perfect way to finish out my special day! We saved a piece of birthday cake, and during our Sk*ype conversation we lit a candle. After everyone finished singing Happy Birthday, Sophie helped me blow out the candle through the camera:-). It was wonderful!! Later, all on her own, she sang Happy Birthday to me in Chinese...oh, be still my heart.

Thanks Carrie for doing this....I will treasure this picture always!

God is good!!!

Resting in His plan

2009-06-29T13:51:00.007-04:00

First, I really have to thank all of you for your kind words of support, and for keeping us in your prayers....they ARE being heard, and we know we are truly being carried through this.

Without going into detail, I have to share that God has blessed us by revealing the purpose behind our delay to Sophie. We have fallen on our knees in gratitude for His unfailing love and provision. Honestly, being in 'mommy mode' most of the time...when I first heard of this delay, though John and I were distraught over the change in plans, my biggest concern and subject of prayer was Sophie and what this turn of events would do to her. We have been shown and reminded that God is so powerful, so good, and has unfailing love and protection for ALL his babies, no matter how old we are. He cares for each and everyone of us and without a doubt, has us in the palm of His hand. As I always say...God is good!!

Today is my birthday, the big 4-2...and I feel so blessed! I have a wonderful husband, 2 precious sons, a beautiful daughter that I get unprecedented access to during this waiting period, and to top it off, tonight is 'Sophie night'...perfect timing again;-)!! What a wonderful gift to be able to talk with and see my sweet Sophie on my birthday. My guys bought me a bike and I've been breaking it in between the raindrops here today. Now we can all go on bike rides as a family.

I couldn't end this post without an updated picture of our bathing beauty!! It looks like Sophie likes the water, and between our pool and the beach, that's a good thing!

Psalm 33

4 For the word of the Lord holds true,
and we can trust everything he does.

11 But the Lord’s plans stand firm forever;
his intentions can never be shaken.

18 But the Lord watches over those who fear him,
those who rely on his unfailing love.
19 He rescues them from death
and keeps them alive in times of famine.
20 We put our hope in the Lord.
He is our help and our shield.
21 In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
22 Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord,
for our hope is in you alone.

Heartache

2009-06-22T19:05:00.005-04:00

I just heard from our agency.

Xinjiang will now NOT let us in due to H1*N1 concerns. Our travel plans are on hold. We were only 9 days away from leaving.

I am beside myself with sadness right now, and worried for Sophie.

She knows we are supposed to be there soon. She has a calendar marked with a smiley face on the day we are due to arrive. How much longer is she going to have to wait?

I'm really quite numb.

It's 'Sophie night' tonight. John is away on business, and I pray I can get through this without crying.

I don't know what else to do right now except pray.

I know His timing is perfect, and I have to put my trust in that.

It's just plain hard right now.

I just want to be with her.

Even when I don't understand. Always, God is good.

Where we're at...

2009-06-18T19:20:00.005-04:00

Here's where we're at...

2 weeks from today we'll be landing in Beijing:-)

2 weeks and 1 day from today we'll be meeting Miss Sophie:-))))

School's out tomorrow for the summer!!

Nathan did make the LL All Star District baseball team...yes, he's PUMPED!!

I feel like I'm really starting to get things pulled together for the trip. I have all the necessary gifts, paperwork, plans and provisions for the boys while we're away, and I've started to pack Sophie's things. As for me....I'm someone who does most of the packing the day before....never understood how someone can pack weeks in advance, unless you have two separate wardrobes, extra toiletries, makeup etc,.... I do however, make pretty detailed lists in advance and I check things off as I put them in the suitcase. Works for me:-).

My neighbor Terry (the one who is putting together Sophie's 100 wishes quilt) made Sophie another quilt that I'm decorating her room around. Here's a picture of it ( the actual quilting on top still needs to be done;-)....

Here's Sophie's room before...

Her room was the nursery, and has been used as a guest room for the past few years. It's obvious to see, all I did was get rid of the crib and rocker and put in a double bed. Owen's quilt(yes, made by Terry) is still hanging on the wall with the matching curtains. Sad, I know, but hey, the bed is comfortable;-)!!!!

I'll be posting the rest of the room transformation before we leave:-)

As for my emotional state lately...well, other than waking up at 4:00am most mornings, with things racing through my head, I'm doing OK, all things considered. I'm getting really excited AND nervous at the same time, with all the 'what ifs' filling my thoughts. We do have H1N1 in the community, and I'm just praying we all stay well. The last time we saw Sophie on sk*ype, she showed us her calendar page. She's able to count the boxes, and she has a huge smiley face on the day we are to meet her. PLEASE say a prayer this all goes as planned...I really can't wait to hold my baby!!!!!

As always, God is good!!!

For the love of Baseball

2009-06-14T21:00:00.002-04:00

As this season comes to a close, I thought I would share some pictures of Nathan and Owen playing their favorite sport, baseball. This was Nathan's first year playing in the major division, and boy, did he do great!! He played mostly 3rd base and found himself very much at home on the pitcher's mound. A highlight from the season was while Nate was playing second base, he dove and caught a hard hit line drive. From the ground, he threw the ball to the SS covering second base and was able to tag the base runner out who had prematurely left second, thinking it wouldn't be caught. It was a spectacular double play!

Owen played rec baseball, and was he in-his-glory. For a 'just turned 7 year old', he made some amazing diving catches as well. Owen's batting form, especially at this age, is a sight to see, and boy does he send that ball flying. Owen covered mostly third and first base. At this level it's coach pitch, but that's OK....Owen's dream is to be a catcher!! For his birthday we got him a catchers mitt and all the protective gear. To quote O, he stated, 'WOW, this is THE best birthday ever!'

Did I say the season was coming to a close????? Well, it MAY be extended a bit...Nathan has decided to try for the post season All Star Team that plays through the end of July. We should find out early this week if he made the District or Tournament Team. He's really hoping to make District....we'll see;-)!!!

Surprise!!!!

2009-06-11T05:12:00.004-04:00

Guess what??!!!

Yes, I was given a surprise 'baby' shower!!

Here's the plan....my dear friends Shay, Lisa and Heidi (you ladies are the best!) said they wanted to meet at Lisa's house to give me a few gifts, and then take me out to lunch. WELL....I arrived at her house and walked into a room with about 15 women, and a room full of gifts for Miss Sophie !!! I was blown away!!! Did they pull the surprise off- I honestly didn't have a clue!

Everyone was so generous, and I have to say, Sophie made out pretty well!! She is definitely going to be one of the best dressed girls around, and the ratio of boy:girl toys in our house has now become much more even;-). Thank you!!!!

I'll post more pictures once I get them from the designated picture taker in the group:-).

I'm reminded again and again, of how much I have been blessed with the dear friends I have, and what a wonderful, close knit community we live in. There are so many people that have really walked beside us on this journey, and so many can't wait to welcome Sophie home!!!

God is good!

Check out the 'new look'!!!!

2009-06-06T07:12:00.002-04:00

SO....what do you think:-)???!!!!

I love it, love it, LOVE it!!! Yes, the tears, they are a flowin'!

Since being matched with Sophie, I've been contemplating how to have her incorporated into our blog, and at the same time, give our site a fresh look. Dear Rebecca, as busy as she is, surprised me with this 'gift' last weekend!! I just LOVE seeing all THREE of my kiddos pictured side by side:-). At times, especially with things being so busy now, I drift back into the 'surreal' feeling of this whole adoption process. Seeing Nathan, Owen and Sophie together on my blog, makes the reality of ALL that has gone on, and ALL that is to come, REAL.

Rebecca, you are such a kind, TALENTED and generous soul. Thank you for your friendship, support and all the 'special touches' you've blessed our journey with.

13 is my new lucky number!!!

2009-06-04T15:51:00.004-04:00

Our dossier for China was officially 'logged in' on March 13, 2008.....we received our PA(preliminary approval) for Sophie exactly one year later, and we now have our visa appointment in China scheduled for July 13, 2009!!!! Our trip is planned around that appointment, so we will be leaving for Beijing on July 1st!! Woo hoo!!

We will meet Sophie for the first time at New Day Foster Home, probably on July 3rd, and we have worked an extra day into the trip to allow us to spend time there during our stay in Beijing. We are so blessed!! To complete the adoption paperwork, we plan to leave for Xinjiang on July 5th, and since there is only one flight per day to Xinjiang, we're hoping we can arrange to be on the same flight as Miss Sophie.

We are beyond excited!!! It feels so wonderful, and REAL to finally be looking at travel dates.

God is good!!!

Sophie update

2009-06-02T14:22:00.003-04:00

Here's our sweet Sophie....

*SIGH*

This is what her nanny wrote...

Sophie is a lively child. She enjoys running, jogging, and climbing. She likes to wear her hair in braids and wear beautiful dresses as well. Sophie is not picky at all. She eats everything, including rice, vegetables, and fruits. She is strong and energetic. Sophie enjoys asking questions and she can tell me a whole story that happened the day before. Sophie likes to help other children. She helps them to squeeze toothpaste, brush their teeth, wash their hands and face, and get dressed. If she sees other children fighting, she will try to stop them by saying, “No fighting! Good children never fight! Mom does not like you fighting.”

I could use an extra voice around here when the boys start goin' at it;-).

Soon dear child, you'll be home soon!!!

TA!!!!!! {and various other items}

2009-05-22T07:38:00.006-04:00

We received a message from our agency notifying us they received our TA yesterday....WOO HOO!!! One step closer to our sweet Sophie. C@WLI mentioned they currently have 20 families in China right now that actually left yesterday, May 21st. The agency will see how things go with families on this trip and make future travel plans based on their experience given all the H1*N1 concerns/restrictions in China right now. C@WLI told us it could be 1-2 months till we travel. I pray we're only looking at 1, but I know that what ever the wait may be, it will be in His timing.

I have definitely been MIA on the blogging front lately, as things have been CRAZY here!! Thank you to everyone who has checked in on me!! I don't know how schools are in other areas, but around here we have so much going on in the last weeks of the school year you could easily fill a six month calendar! On top of all the school events and activities, Nathan and Owen are in baseball (serious stuff around here) and cub scouts, and we seem to have something after school every day. It's fair to say most dinners have been VERY simple and on the run!!! I'm definitely in the nesting mode, and have been weeding out a lot of unnecessary stuff in the house (boy does it feel good!). I would love to have a garage sale before we go to China, so as if I'm not stressed enough, I'm throwing that into the mix as well. Owen's birthday is at the end of this month and I had promised him a party with class friends this year so I'm trying to come up with ideas to do with about 8 boys. I'm praying for good weather(Puh-LEASE!!!), so all of the activities can be outdoors. Then, you throw in all the daily routine stuff...I'm sure you can imagine what days have been like around here:-).

My mom and dad are here for a visit and they were able to experience 'Sophie night' for the first time this past Monday. It was VERY SPECIAL and they were of course quite taken with her (Uh, who wouldn't be??!!). John was away on a business trip and unfortunately missed the call this week. It was so sweet when Sophie asked where her baba was (Aaawwwwwww:-).

I'm so happy to say I received 100 pieces of fabric for Sophie's quilt!! I want to extend a heartfelt THANK YOU to all my bloggy friends who sent me fabric and a wish for Sophie. Sara, Kathy, Desiree, Kim, Tanya, Amy, Carrie, Denise, Jenna, Mignon, Lauren, Alycia, Vicki and JD (private blogs)....your kindness and generosity are so appreciated!! All the material is at the quilters now, and I can't wait to see how it turns out. Obviously ALL of the fabric and wishes we received are cherished, but since I got so behind in posting pictures, I'm going to share only the fabric swatch and wishes that I received from those of you who know us through blogging. We received a very special package from China that I included in the photos as well, as I know all of you in the adoption community would feel the weight of this special gift. Many people at New Day Foster Home sent fabric and wishes for Sophie, and to say I was overcome with emotion upon receiving this is an understatement. The blessings we have received during our journey to Sophie are too numerous to count, and having Sophie's China family represented in her quilt is simply beyond what I could ever dream.

I have FINALLY decided on how I'm going to decorate Sophie's room, so I'll be doing before, during and after posts about that....stay tuned!!!

As always, God is good!!!!

{2} Sophie Night updates

2009-05-05T10:02:00.003-04:00

Wow...this past week has been CRAZY!! The boys were on spring break all last week, baseball is in full swing here, and we made a 6 hour car trip to visit my parents this past weekend in order to celebrate my dad's retirement! This is the first day in over a week I've had some 'alone' time:-). My 'To Do' list is very long, but I wanted to give everyone a quick update since two weeks have gone by, and I know you all keep hitting your refresh button in anticipation of these posts(yeah right, LOL;-)!

Last Monday's conversation was extra special because Nathan and Owen saw and spoke to Sophie for the first time. We let them stay up since they didn't have school, and they really enjoyed meeting their new sister for the first time. Nathan played Sophie "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' on the Sax, and Owen drew a couple pictures just for her that he shared. Then the 3 of them sang the ever famous 'I Love You' song together....It was VERY SWEET, to say the least. The boys got the idea it would be cute to show her Bullet and Bear, our two gerbils. After seeing them, Sophie went to get a stuffed kitty she said could eat the mice..LOL...I don't think she got the concept that our gerbils are pets:-). The boys got a kick out of it!! Sophie only called John 'Ye Ye' (grandfather) a couple times, as I think she likes his reaction when she says that! It's becoming apparent, our little girl has quite the sense of humor....and I have a feeling Sophie will be a match for John, who keeps us laughing and enjoys practical jokes.

Last nights conversation was a needed blessing for me. I CAN'T WAIT until we meet Sophie in person and bring her home, but honestly, the 'what ifs' are entering my head now. I'm getting nervous about the trip, nervous about leaving the boys behind, nervous about her liking us, nervous about her transition and oh, I could go on but I think you get the picture.... and not to mention a bit overwhelmed with all I still have to do, thanks to being the procrastinator I am!! I do work well under pressure, but honestly, I wish I had done some things prior to this point. Oh well, list the most important things needing to get done first, and work backwards right?? Somehow, blogging is evidently out of place, but I just can't help it;-)!! With all that said, when Monday night comes around and I see Sophie's face and hear her sweet voice, ALL my 'what ifs' and worrying instantly fade away. She is such a ray of sunshine and I am simply still in awe over the fact she is our daughter.

Last night she had a cute pair of glasses with her and I was able to take some pictures to share. Tonight Sophie said she wanted to be like daddy, since John wears glasses. I have a feeling she is going to be a daddy's girl, which is A-OK with me:-). I was (still am, and always will be) a daddy's girl...and there is something unbelievably special about that bond that never goes away. Sophie also wanted a piece of gum, since DADDY was chewing one, so she got her first piece of bubble gum, which was a huge hit. Of course, she wanted to share with everyone, and she kept wanting John to blow bubbles much to her amusement! She's getting the bubble blowing action down, and I bet by next week, the two of them will have a bubble blowing contest!! Well, there you have it...another universal 'language'...bubble gum!!!!

So, without further delay....here's Sophie...glasses, bubblegum, and all....

God is good!!!!

Adoption updates (*new update added)

2009-04-30T07:26:00.005-04:00

Well, it looks like we may be hitting our first bump in the road after being matched with Sophie.

Due to the concern over the swine flu, it looks like China is extending TAs that were issued between Mar 1 and Apr 30, from 3 to 5 months, and if they are doing that, I'm guessing they will probably hold off on issuing new ones for the time being. With that said, it's unclear at this time if the CC@A is not allowing travel for those who have TA now, or if they are just advising against it. You can read the announcement from the CC@A here.

Time will tell for us on whether our June time frame for travel will come to fruition or not. I was doing OK with the wait until this, as I have to say, my heart is heavy right now, as I really just want to hold my baby!! I know I need to trust in His plan and that His timing will be perfect, as always. I do feel blessed with the access we have to Sophie, and my heart is at peace with the care and love she is receiving at New Day while we all wait.

That brings us to Sophie's quilt. I have a little over 50 squares/wishes now. (I plan on posting pictures soon!) PLEASE, if you could contribute, there is still time. I would love to hit 100:-). I'm remaining positive that if there is a travel delay, it will be short, and Sophie WILL be home in a timely manner. Therefore, I need to set a firm deadline to receive fabric by May 10th. I plan on hanging her quilt in her bedroom, and I would love to have it completed by the time she comes home. If you need my address, just contact me via email, found in my profile. Thanks so much for taking the time to do this.

As for travel to China, John and I have decided it will just be the two of us.

Thank you to all of you who gave your input. It really did help with our deliberation. It was a very hard decision, as there are pros and cons to both ways, but in the end mostly due to financial constraints, the amount of in-China travel we will have, and the fact that this will be the only block of time Sophie will have with our undivided attention, John and I felt leaving the boys at home was the best choice for us. The fact that Sophie will have waited close to 4 years for a mommy and daddy,(PLEASE God let her be home for her Aug birthday), and has had to share attention all her life, it weighed heavily on our hearts that we give her this 'one on one' time with us. I hate leaving the boys behind, and I really don't know how I will do as I have never been away from them for this amount of time, but they will be in good hands and I can imagine will be kept very occupied. I do plan on having a little something special for them to open or look forward to everyday from us, and we will have sk*ype which should help a bit with the distance and time apart. Well, that's it. The decision is made, and I need to move forward.

And...just for fun....

Time for a hair cut:-)??

As always, God is good!

**update as of 4:00pm EST...My agency confirms that the CCAA is issuing a travel alert, but WILL CONTINUE TO ISSUE TAs, and if the family wishes to postpone travel they will extend their TA.

So, as for now, it looks like we're on schedule.

I sure hope this swine flu burns itself out soon!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-29T08:37:00.004-04:00

Give me an "L", Give me an "O".....

2009-04-27T16:21:00.004-04:00

And YES, give me "A"!!!!

Our agency just called to inform us they received our Letter of Acceptance today!!!

Never having done this before....45 days from receiving PA seems pretty quick, doesn't it:-)??

I guess it looks like June for travel:-).....Woo Hoo!!!

Things are definitely going to get kicked into overdrive around here.

As always, God is good!

An Appropriate Ending? The Beginning

2009-04-23T20:52:00.008-04:00

I'm finally getting around to my last post in my 'Our Journey to Sophie' series. I guess this makes Part VI (wow!), and I'm ending this miraculous story, where else, but at the beginning.

As most of you know, Sophie lives at the New Day Foster Home, and I was led to their website through Sara, Mya's mom. I remember the day that I found out Sara had been matched with Mya. As I watched her video announcement, I became very emotional. Much more so than I usually did when I read about a family being matched with their child, and I didn't know why. I think I chalked it up to seeing a lot of similarities in our families, and probably a bit of hormones at the time.

I continued to follow Sara's journey, and one evening I was on her blog watching a beautiful video she posted that was put out by New Day. While this was going on, Nathan was reading and Owen was drawing at the table behind me. As I played the video, Owen was putting the final touches on his 'masterpieces'. He came to me with two drawings. Keeping my eyes focused on the playing video, I asked him to please wait until I finished the video. His pleads told me he was VERY proud and excited about them, so I looked away from the video to give him attention. He had drawn 2 separate dragonflies. I was surprised, as he had never drawn dragonflies before and the subject seemed to have come from out of the blue. After Owen had had his fill of praise, I looked back at the video, and the very next second a picture appeared of a little girl running with a kite that had two dragonflies on them!!

It's fair to say, I got some serious chills!!

I knew this was more than a coincidence. Not only did I scan his pictures, (I just knew I would want these some day), but more importantly, I knew I needed to look into this New Day place!! I found their website and started to look at all the adorable faces. I soon came to realize what a wonderful place New Day Foster Home was, and as I searched the scrapbook for the girl with the kite, I quickly became captivated with 'Cheryl'. Whenever I came across a picture of her, she pulled at my heart like no other. Soon, without even realizing it, I found myself searching for just 'Cheryl'. After numerous photos, I finally did find the photo of the girl with the kite. It was sweet Emily. While I was happy I found what I was initially looking for, I knew in my heart it wasn't Emily I was supposed to find, it was 'Cheryl'. Emily was the one who led me to 'the one' destined to be our daughter.

As I was writing this post, I noticed the date on the scanned pictures; the date this all took place; Aug 22, 2008.

Sophie's given birthdate is August 24th.

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love him. 1 Corinthians 2:9

God is good!

'Sophie Night' Highlights...

2009-04-21T09:16:00.003-04:00

Yes, last night was Monday night...and you know what that means....it was 'Sophie Night'!!

At first, sky*pe wasn't working on New Day's end, so we talked to Sophie over the phone while they tried to fix the problem. Man-o-man, one time on sk*ype, and BOY did we ALL get SPOILED!!!! We tried everything to move the conversation along, and make the 'best of it'...as I just finish typing that, I'm thinking geeezze...'make the best of it????' What's THAT about??? Weekly conversations with our daughter a half a world away...in China....make the best of it?!! Back to the point...when I say spoiled, I mean it quickly became apparent the traditional phone conversation wasn't doing it for Sophie as well! On the phone, John and I tried to ask her questions, talk about her upcoming field trip to the aquarium, tried to sing a song etc....to no avail....NOTHING was working...Sophie just kept asking OVER and OVER to SEE..... guess what?? THE DOGS!!!!!! Oh, man...she was NOT easily diverted, and can she 'turn it on'. Her sweet voice kept getting more and more pathetic with her pleading. While we were waiting to see if rebooting the computer would work, we could hear Sophie's melodic pleads like a skipping record over the phone....it was heart wrenching!

Praise the Lord...the reboot worked and all was right in our world again;-)! John gathered the peacefully sleeping pooches (80lb Labs)and lifted them up to camera height....and voila....a huge smile!!!!! 'I want to see the dogs' in Chinese will FOREVER be imprinted in my mind:-). Too funny!

Speaking of funny....it gets better. Sophie started calling John 'Ye Ye' last night. John didn't know at first what she was saying (and I wanted to keep it that way) but she kept repeating it when she saw him on the screen. I couldn't control my laughter, and I had to let him in on it. Thank goodness he was a good sport about it...but I wouldn't be surprised if he comes home from work today with a bottle of Just F0R Men;-). Lauren came on at the end and apologetically clarified that EVERY man with gray hair is a Ye Ye to the kids. I don't know if he fully bought that, but thanks Lauren;-).

All in all, Sophie's personality is emerging more and more with each conversation. She was very animated last night...full of energy. Maybe it was the jell0 jigg*lers she had right before our conversation? Hummmm?;-) I know I'm biased, but Sophie has a beautiful voice!!! She sang "Twinkle Tinkle Little St@r" to us in Chinese, and she was simply captivating. I think we may have a future start on our hands. Nathan plays the Sax and electric guitar, and Owen loves the drums (no surprise there;-)...Sophie will fit in nicely as their lead singer!!

How lovely!!!! Or as Sophie was more fond of saying last night....'That's AWESOME'!!!

God is good!

Sophie all dressed up!

2009-04-16T20:44:00.006-04:00

We sent Sophie an Easter package and we were able to watch her open it during our last sky*pe conversation. Very special:-).

We also included a gift for Emily, who has been having a difficult time watching many of her friends be matched with families. It warms my heart to see a smile on Emily's face and hopefully ease her pain if just for a short while.

My daughter

2009-04-15T18:09:00.003-04:00

We enjoyed 'Sophie night' again this week, and this time it was extra special!

We were able to talk with, and SEE her on sky*pe! It was AMAZING, to say the least. When the video turned on and I saw Sophie for the very first time 'live', my heart literally skipped a beat. Then, I experienced a special feeling, deep within my heart, that I've only experienced twice before in my life; when each of my sons were born, and I saw their face for the very first time as they were placed in my arms. It's a powerful feeling that rushes in in an instant, and your heart is transformed to hold a lifetime of everlasting love.

She IS my daughter.

Not that I doubted, but I honestly didn't expect to feel what I felt via a webcam:-).

I can't imagine what it will be like when I finally meet her in person.

THE GIFT OF LIFE

I didn't give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know.
The love I feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.
For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I didn't give you
The gift of life,
Life gave me the gift of you.

Author Unknown

To God be the glory!

Easter humor...compliments of Owen

2009-04-13T08:08:00.003-04:00

I don't have much time to post this morning, but I just had to share these two conversations with you all, and hopefully give you an Easter chuckle...

On Saturday, I told the boys we were going to run to the store to buy something 'special' for Easter dinner.

Owen chimes in and asks....'What are we going to have? Rabbit??'

Nathan quickly says..."Owen, you'll be lucky if the Easter Bunny leaves you a basket after saying that!"

There is a family that lives down the road from us with 10 children, and we know the youngest girl is adopted from Russia. The youngest boy is in Owen's class, and we were talking about what it would be like to have that many brothers and sisters. During the conversation, I asked if Owen knew if any of the other children were adopted, and Owen nonchalantly says, "Oh no....she laid them all".

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter!!

Christ is risen, indeed!!! Hallelujah!

'Sophie Night'

2009-04-08T09:38:00.002-04:00

We were able to talk with Sophie again this week, and we have affectionately named Mondays as "Sophie Night". This week however, due to problems with the phone lines at ND, "Sophie night" took place last night (Tuesday). Oh, it was worth the wait!

Each time we call, Sophie becomes more and more talkative, and she does a great job translating what we say into Chinese for the people in the room at New Day:-). The whole phone conversation dynamic is pretty funny, to say the least, and I know I keep saying this, but I WISH I could learn more Chinese overnight!!! I say MORE like I even know SOME, LOL.....I only know a few phrases, and I'm not even sure if I say those correctly...ha!! It's hysterical as Miss Sophie says things over and over in Chinese to us, and she gets s-l-o-w-er and LOUDER each time, like THAT is going to help us....bless her little heart!!! I just have to laugh, or I think I would cry.

Anyhow, it doesn't seem to matter. I just LOVE hearing her voice and Sophie seems to feel the same, as each week our 'connection' feels closer and closer. These phone calls are such an unbelievable blessing, Praise the Lord!

Sophie did say one thing to us during our call that made our hearts suddenly feel like a 10lb brick and ache terribly. She was looking at our photo album we sent, identifying things she saw, and then said in Chinese, "Ma-MA, I want to come home.....I am ready to come home NOW"

OH, my mind immediately raced to 'OK....I'm getting on the VERY NEXT PLANE out of here....I'm coming!!!!!'

Then, in the next second, reality hits.....as much as I want to, and BELIEVE me, I WOULD...I simply CAN'T.

Then I thought, THANK GOD, SHE IS AT NEW DAY.

Times like this I just hate bureaucracy.

We did say to Sophie (between the tears) how much we love her, and how we can't wait to come get her and bring her home. She quickly moved on to pointing at Sawyer and Finn and said, "big dogs:-)". Thank you God for the saving grace of the attention span, and easy diversion of a three year old, and even more so, for the caring people at New Day that who helped her 'move on'!!!

New Day has sky*pe now, so I will be going out to buy one before our next "Sophie night". Now we'll get to talk AND see her....unbelievable!

I have to send out a big 'thank you' to Lauren who is an intern at New Day, who helps out so much with our conversations:-). You're the best!

Changing topics, Sophie was fitted with a new brace recently, and it is working out really well from what I've heard! It is much more comfortable for her than her old one was, and she is able to get around a lot easier.

Does New Day rock or what??!!!!

You can tell from the photos below, she's really likin' and showin' off her new foot!!!! Gotta love it!!!

We're comin' baby....as fast as we can!

As always, God is good!!!!

2009-04-06T13:54:00.004-04:00

I'm so excited!!! I've started to receive fabric and beautiful blessings for Sophie's 100 wishes quilt. I'm so emotional over every one that I receive, I can't imagine how I will feel when the quilt is put together!! This is so very special. I wanted to share with everyone the fabric pieces and heartfelt wishes sent by Kim, Kathy and Desiree. Ladies, thank you so much for your contributions:-).

If you would like to be represented in Sophie's quilt, please know, you are more than welcome ....just email me, and I can send you our address.

It's Monday, and you know what that means.....it's 'Sophie night' tonight:-) Woo Hoo!

'What's in a name'? Part 2

2009-04-02T20:41:00.006-04:00

I have two small stories left to share that make up the much larger story of our journey to Miss Sophie.

The story to follow is about how 'Sophie' came into the realm of names for our daughter.

The name was actually introduced to us through Owen. In May of 2008, (before we even saw 'Cheryl') he wrote the name 'Sofhie' out of the blue, on a box that was in our bedroom.

Now mind you, there is no one named Sophie in our family, circle of friends, or in Owen's class. I don't think he's ever heard that name before, let alone spell it. When I saw the name, I was stunned. I could tell it was Owen's handwriting, and in all honesty, writing a word like that was beyond his ability at the time. He was spelling one syllable words like 'am', 'do' and 'dog'. I asked Owen what he wrote, and he said he didn't know, they were just letters that 'came into his head'. I started to think maybe God wanted us to consider this name for our daughter...whoever she might be. I looked up the meaning of Sophie and found out it meant 'wisdom'. "Nice name" I thought, and moved on.

Fast forward several months to 'the waiting period' of seeing if we would ultimately be matched with "Cheryl". I was having one of those days where my strength was waning, and I started to doubt my sanity in the endeavor we were on. I went to the Bible, and opened it. The scripture my eyes went to was this....

Choose my instruction instead of silver; knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her. Proverbs 8:10-11

'Sofhie' immediately entered my mind.

When you read the above scripture both literally and figuratively, it speaks volumes. This was one of those 'gifts' that instantaneously renewed my strength in our journey....reminding me, He was leading...we needed to continue to trust and see this through to the end.

At that moment, I knew what Cheryl's new name would be WHEN we got her file.

New picture, conversation, and travel question

2009-03-31T08:24:00.005-04:00

First, I thought you would all like to know we spoke with Sophie again last night!! She is THE sweetest thing. We were greeted with an enthusiastic "Ma-MA, and Da-DE" again and she entertained us with the famous I love you song. Then, in my best singing voice I sang to her, which she really seemed to enjoy, despite me probably being way off key;-). Later in the conversation John, Sophie and I all sang together in perfect harmony...Ha! Sophie seemed very happy on the phone, and was definitely more talkative this time. She spoke to us in Chinese, and although I could only understand the injected 'mama', she seems to have a very clear, articulate voice. I can't wait to meet her in person!

Changing topics...My question is about travel to China. John and I have been wrestling with making this decision...Should John and I just go to China as a couple, or should we bring the boys? Obviously, there are pros and cons to both, and the decision might be made for us from a financial standpoint, but I was curious as to what you guys thought, especially those who have made the trip and know what the two weeks are all about. I'd love to hear from anyone who would like to chime in with their thoughts. Thanks!

And what I'm sure you've all been checking in to see....

The Sophie Shirt and Dress

2009-03-28T17:37:00.004-04:00

I just received a wonderful surprise!

I went to visit my dear friend Desiree over at Our Happily Ever After and found out she's starting up her sewing site again! Yeah! Her designs are unbelievably beautiful, and to top it off, she has named her first new 'creation' after our Sophie. I love all her outfits, but of course, this one will always be near and dear to my heart. I can just picture Miss Sophie wearing it on a warm summer day....thanks Desiree! If you don't know Desiree, she is an individual with a tremendous heart for the orphans in China. She and her husband Kerry have 5 children, two of which were adopted from China, and who are THE CUTEST models ever!

Do I hear the possibility of a third????

Sophie's care package arrives!

2009-03-25T11:26:00.003-04:00

The pictures speak for themselves....

Talking with Sophie

2009-03-24T15:29:00.004-04:00

We had a wonderful experience on the phone with Sophie last night!!!

It started off a bit rocky, not with Sophie, but rather in our effort to get through. We purposely called a little early, 9:25pm, in order to build in some extra time for 'snags'. Well, 5 minutes wasn't enough because 9:40 came around quickly and we still couldn't seem to get through!! It was probably mostly due to 'user problems' on our, rather MY part. Whenever I plugged in the ext. number, the line went dead or we ended up back at the initial greeting. I couldn't figure out what was going on!! I finally managed to get through to the New Day operator, and then she mistakenly transferred us to the wrong extension!!! AAARRRRGHHHH. To make things worse, the person we were transferred to, though very pleasant, wasn't able to transfer us to the correct ext! We had to hang up, start over and dial again. This was probably try #15 at this point. I started to get really flustered because I had visions of sweet Sophie's face looking forlornly at the phone wondering "WHEN are they going to call? It's past the time they were supposed to....do they still want me?" and my thoughts kept spiraling downward from there. In reality, she was probably playing away, unaware that the phone call was even coming:-)....but definitely not in this mama's mind!!! My hands were really shaking by about try #18, and John gently took the phone from my trembling hands. I ran to the computer and frantically typed an urgent message to Karen letting her know we were trying desperately to get through, and with one try....bingo...John got through. Praise the Lord!

We all know who will be dialing China from now on, don't we;-)?!!!

Now, the good stuff....Sophie has THE sweetest voice! I heard a little "Hi mama" and my heart just melted. I just started talking away....and she would interject with a loud playful MA-MA!!!! followed by a soft "I love you" and then a cute giggle. John started to talk and she did the same to him with BA-BA and DA-DA!!! I don't think I've ever heard those simple words said with so much pride and pure joy before. Of course, I had tears running down my cheeks. She also sang us a song...."I love you...you love me....we're a happy family...." It was ADORABLE. I found out her favorite color was blue and that she drew a blue elephant. It was really priceless. We'll get to call once a week on Monday nights. The boys came down for breakfast this morning, and the first thing they asked about was the conversation with Sophie. They both had a smile from ear to ear listening to the details. With the energy I heard over the phone, I don't think she'll have any trouble keeping up with these guys;-). The boys are looking forward to talking with Sophie over spring break when they can stay up later for the phone call.

We are SOOOO blessed!!!

New Day is thinking about getting sky*pe, so hopefully at some point we may be able to see her during our conversations as well. I received a note from Carrie letting me know Sophie went around the rest of the day beaming with joy.

God is so good!!!

I hate to end this on a sad note....but reading this just broke my heart. Unfortunately, this post personalizes feelings that many kids have as they see their friends being placed with forever families, and they are left behind. Pray for Emily that she finds her forever family SOON.